


Reborn

by benebidfarewell



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Death, Dreams, Hospitals, Minor Character Death, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post SBURB, Prospit/Derse, Self Harm (sorta), Souls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-15 06:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benebidfarewell/pseuds/benebidfarewell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sburb finally ended the remaining kids were reborn on Earth as their respective selves, even the remaining trolls were reborn, but as humans. As the children aged they gained back memories of their past lives on accord to their aging, at age 12 they remember each other and swiftly try to contact each other. There was no difficulty connecting to each other once more except for one thing, they were missing someone, John never came into contact them.</p><p>This is the story of what happened to John.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sometimes When You Win It’s Not Actually A Victory

When I turned 13 me and my friends played a game called Sburb. Originally it was just supposed to be a simple game, no one gets hurt, you know a game for fun? Well at least that’s how it was supposed to be, but of course not, it was anything but a game. People died, a lot of them but I didn’t really realize that, I was just a kid I figured they weren’t _really_ dead. Not even when I saw my dad laying in a pool of his own blood did I ever bother to think of the billions of people who died on earth, the earth _I_ destroyed for playing a stupid game.

I don’t really think it matters anymore seeing as Earth has been revived along with the human population. What? Yea, that’s right we won the game, trust me I’m just as surprised as you are, seriously thought it would never end geez. But yea we won in fact I’ll have you know it’s already been, oh man, what like 20 years? I don’t really know I’m just going by my age here, so yea I happen to be 20 years old today, one more year and i can legally drink hahaha, um that was a joke by the way I don’t particularly care if i can or not. Uh. Right so you’re probably wondering _Oh well if you won, how the fuck did you do it? What happened?_

And I can tell you I have no fucking idea...sorry I just can’t remember truthfully. I can remember everything from when i played sburb, just not the end, the most important part and I CAN’T REMEMBER. What kind of fucked up logic is that? So stupid and- huh? Oh ask my friends if they remember? Well you know the thing about that is that they’re not with me right now. No, they’re not ditching me on my birthday, they’re just not...here.

NO, by noooo means are they dead, gosh! Although, I suppose I should clarify some things before you’re misled into believing something about my identity.

I am the Heir of Breath and i can control and become the wind whenever I feel like it, I also cannot die like a normal person.I still love magic tricks and comedy gags, but hate baked goods and Betty Crocker, harlequins still scare the shit out of me, and I’m pretty good with a hammer. I love my dad, I-I love all my friends, and...and my name is _not_ John Egbert.


	2. Street Rats Tell Terrible Jokes But That Depends On Your Humor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took some time I got busy  
> Sorry, hope you like it

Confused right? Sorry, not a joke if that’s what you thought it was, but if you seriously thought this story was about John Egbert, friend leader extraordinaire, well you’re wrong. This story is about some shitty little street rat kid that has no parents and no place to call home. So what does a loser like me have to do with John? Well for starters the guy saved my life, not on purpose, that wouldn’t make sense he had just turned 12 and wasn’t exactly stable at the time, but nonetheless I’m alive because of him. So, how’d he save me?

Now THAT’S the funny thing about this whole story!

He died.

But I’m getting ahead of myself again so lets back up. Flashback time!

So when I was 13 years old, the world did not burn up into a flaming ball of fire thus ending the human race and everything on earth, no, when I was 13, I rode on a bus. Just a bus, nothing special about it, but I was poor, homeless, and smelled like rotting garbage. Personally, I don’t know why I was on that bus in the first place. Maybe I was going to the store, or maybe I was running an errand for my adoptive homeless grandpa, or maybe I was even going to pickpocket some innocent passenger for cash. I don’t know, I don’t remember, but whatever it was I was doing _IT WAS NOT WORTH IT_.

It was a tragedy, a terrible fucking freak accident that came out of nowhere, certainly not a fiery death, but still bad.

There was a large range car crash involving roughly ten cars and a bus, the bus I was on. I was horribly injured, so bad you couldn’t identify me without some kind of blood test, not that it mattered. The doctors decided almost right away I wouldn’t live, that death was inevitable for the scrawny, broken boy. They were right, I didn’t make it.

Blah, blah, blah _but you said he saved you!_ Yeah I know keep your pants on or whatever you’re wearing.

So I died, but it wasn’t right away, I shared a room with another patient who was in the same car wreck. He was around the same age as me and he was also in pretty bad condition, just not as bad as I was. It’s no wonder they had a curtain separating us, the kid’s father probably would’ve fainted if he saw my state, he’d already looked like he could just fall over with the injuries he had from the crash. I couldn’t move anything, couldn’t see, or smell, or say a word, but I remember I could hear. I could hear but only out of one ear, it didn’t matter though, there were only two sounds to be heard in that room. Mine and the other kid’s heart monitors beeping continuously, it was terrible, I couldn't tell who was doing better at the time, me or him.

After a couple of days, the boy’s heart monitor went off and I could hear people rushing in to see what was wrong, but I didn’t need to see what was wrong, I could hear it, his heart was failing. It was noisy, too noisy, as the doctors fussed about, doing what they could to help him but all the clatter became silent when his heart stopped. The moment his stopped was the moment mine started to slow down, so veeery slowly, til it too stopped.

I passed on.

Didn’t stay that way though. You know, being dead.

I woke up and saw the ceiling, but then I saw so many other things at the same time, memories flooding into my brain, too quickly to comprehend, too much of it, too much of whoever’s life it was. I saw unbelievable experiences in extraordinary places that was completely out of this world, it was impossible, just impossible. But it was so real the sheer horror and sadness of it was compelling and yet there was an undeniable excitement to it all that filled me with unwarranted energy. I was suddenly that person, I was the one who experienced those memories, had all those friends, achieved becoming a god, I had power, I was Joh-

Then I heard the heart monitor beep. It wasn’t mine.

The curtain separating the room was gone and I had a clear view of the other patient, the one who’s heart monitor went off, the one who should be dead like me. But I wasn’t dead and apparently, neither was he, go figure. I wasn’t connected to a heart monitor anymore, that I could see, it was funny that I could see, I thought I had really bad vision. _Where are my glasses?_ I thought. And then I saw them, they were on the other boy’s temporary nightstand, cracked and broken in several places, practically unwearable. I thought it was weird at the time, I think I was in denial because no matter what, I didn’t want to look at the boy’s face, I didn’t want to see who he was. I got up anyway, kept thinking _I need my glasses_ and stiffly shuffled toward him. As I got closer and closer, I pathetically avoided looking at him and focused on the broken black frames.

When I got to them, they were on a clipboard that had medical documents, medical documents that should be mine, but if they were mine then they would’ve been next to my bed, which they weren’t. I remember laughing awkwardly and then reached for the glasses, pretending not to know anything. Then the boy coughed, it was weezy and barely audible, but I flinched and snapped my head up to look at him. I saw his face and broke down sobbing on the floor because I knew who he was, I knew all along who he was, he was me.

But no that’s still not right, he wasn’t you.

He was John Egbert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which the narrator turns to be Velma.
> 
> That's the joke btw, it's terrible


	3. You Can Run But You Can’t Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got this done quicker than i thought  
> enjoy

Running, I remembering running as if I was being chased by a murderous psychopath, running as if he was just at my heels, knife sharp and ready to taste my blood. As I ran the people blurred by, their passing voices muffled, everything felt warped, and I really wanted to puke. The only clear sound I could hear was my bare feet slapping loudly against the the hospital tiles as I ran down the halls, I think someone tried to stop me at some point, but that only made me run harder. At first, I was just running with no destination, but realized quickly that I needed to go. But go where?

I had run out of the room, away from John because I panicked. I panicked because while I was stuck weeping on the ground like a banshee, my dad came in the room, which is wrong, he’s John’s dad, not mine. So I found it completely reasonable to haul ass out of the room, instead of risking direct confrontation with him, so he wouldn’t ask why I was crying, so he wouldn’t ask who I was. I think I would’ve broke if he did.

Where was I? Oh yea running.

So when I finally reached the exit of the hospital, I wasted no time speeding out, which wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. From my running I gathered chasers, consisting of doctors, security guards, nurses, and even a hospital visitor, it only makes sense though. I never realized that the entire time I was zipping through the halls that I still had my hospital gown on, which still had my blood on it, fuck. So I had gathered attention, but their efforts at trying to catch me completely failed, every time they went for a grab, I would somehow just slip right out of their grasp. And I made it outside only to find it raining, hurray!

I’m being sarcastic, I hope you know this because I’ll tell you right now it was not fun, not fun at all.

So yea more fucking running just with the added shower, I probably needed it anyway, that didn’t make me any happier though. No one chased me after I got out, figured they had enough running after some brat and that going out into the pouring rain was out of the question. Still wearing only a hospital gown, wandering barefooted, I looked for shelter from the rain and found solace in an empty park. I sat in one of the jungle gyms away from the rain and curled into myself, I started crying again, this time completely alone.

And that’s how my life changed forever, how John saved my life, but you still look pretty confused there friend, so let me clear some of the fog for you. Basically me and John died at the same time, we both came back, and for some reason I have John’s sburb memories and I was completely healed, with not a scratch on me. Yet with John, he looked like he was still half dead, struggling to even breathe, which is ridiculous!

Look if you still don’t get it, I’m just gonna move on and hope that gives you more hints.

Alright so after that dilemma, I didn’t have anywhere to go, cause you know that adoptive homeless grandpa I mentioned? Well at the time I didn’t remember him, I couldn’t remember anything before the accident, I mean there were little snippets of memories here and there but all I really had was John’s life. I almost thought about changing my name to John but that would’ve been pointless since I didn’t look anything like him, besides I actually have a name.

I found it out from a couple of homeless people that knew me, probably. And it sounded familiar at the time so I just kept it. What’s my name? Haha we’ll get back to that later!

So since I didn’t have anywhere to go, I would wander around, when I got hungry, I would scavenge for food, when I was tired, I would sleep in a park or an alley. This went on for days but it never felt unnatural even if I never remembered living such a lifestyle, my body was adjusted to it. Those day ended up becoming weeks, then months, 4 months to be exact, living alone out on the streets until I was taken.

By then I’m sure you can already imagine I was nowhere near the image of “perfect health”, I was thin, thinner than before the accident, my ribs stuck out, my spine looked like it was jutting out from my back, my cheeks were hollowed in, and I had very little muscle on my body, I looked like a skeleton. And because of my image I was taken, taken in by the city, where they threw me into a dank looking orphanage and told me that it was home. Bullshit.

At first it wasn’t so bad staying there, some people came and they helped me eat to get rid of my anorexia, I apparently did much better than other patients they had encountered, but it was still a very difficult process to go through. During my recovery I stayed alone in a room in the orphanage away from the other kids to get better faster, it was only when I got better did things really go to hell.

I was moved into another room to share with three other boys, all different ages, and all of them assholes. I was picked on by them, me being the youngest of the four, being homeless all my life, and for being, oh lets not forget this, picked on for being Hispanic! I’m Hispanic, big fucking whoop, but these guys had the nerve to use it against me as if I was some kind of mutant! Hell, I didn’t even know how to speak Spanish at the time, it was just ridiculous. But I was stuck as their target for time being, of course I wasn’t one to just let things happen, I struck back with the thing I knew best, pranking.

I started out with simple things: mudpies to the face, bucket of water on top of the door, swapping their toothpaste with acne cream, and the classic whoopie cushion during dinner. They got fed up with me and started doing worse things than just name calling or the little pushes they gave, they started really picking fights, ones with punches, ones that hurt, a lot. But nope I wasn’t having it and their punches only fueled me, I wasn’t strong by any means so I stayed with pranks, they just got...a little outta hand sometimes, okay a lot outta hand, I went overboard a lot alright! Eventually the pranks got so bad the owner of the orphanage cussed us out and threatened to throw our asses in juvie, me, not wanting to go to juvie, relent in my attacks. Yet for some reason the three idiots decided to step up their game and try to fucking kill me, great. They made a ploy to lure me up to the roof to _apologize_ for all the shit they put me through, let me tell you, they either had really good acting skills or I’m just that gullible because I went on the roof.

No don’t answer that....that wasn’t even a question!

So one of the idiots grabs me, ties me up with rope and tapes my mouth shut, while another locks the door, and the leader of three stooges starts preaching to me on how I had this coming, how I should’ve just taken their crap and dealt with it. Oh hell no, so I’m struggling to get away and I was so fucking weak I couldn’t even get out of the guy’s grasp long enough to do anything, then the leader signals something to him, and he makes this really creepy grin on his face. All I could think was _Oh Shit_ , and then my feet are off the ground and I’m being thrown over his shoulder, my destination being the ledge. I was scared, I mean I was really just absolutely terrified, I almost pissed my pants, that’s how scared I was. They said it was just a joke, that they wouldn’t actually drop me, they just wanted to shake me up some, and with my luck it wasn’t like that. The guy literally dangled me from my feet off the edge and shook me, I wasn’t in my right head at the time and started squirming. He lost his grip on me and dropped me. He dropped me! I remember hearing them screaming and cursing as I fell and dear god I didn’t want to die but for a moment the wind of the fall felt comforting and I wanted that comfort to envelope me.

I wanted to be the wind.

And suddenly, I wasn’t falling anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have you caught on to my creative titles? :B 
> 
> you actually find out the narrator's name in the next chapter (finally)


	4. Now Just Blow Out The Candle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this took forever my friend lent me her animal crossing game...yeaaa sorry  
> and i had a little block at the beginning of this :( but it's a lil longer than the last tho i think

To say I suddenly stopped mid air would be wrong, I wasn’t really floating or flying either, I was just...nothing. It was almost surreal because I could see everything around me all at the same time, but never myself. It was...weird, I hadn’t felt like that in a long time, but I recognized it. The feeling of being nothing and yet _everything_ , though contradictory, felt right to me. I felt like _me_ again.

I mean I felt like...you know...John.    

So yea it took falling off a roof to find out I had John’s windy powers, a pretty nice package if you ask me....why are you laughing?

Anyway, I was stuck in a really difficult situation seeing as I vanished into thin air in front of those idiots. So when I rematerialized (away from their eyes), I played it off as a magic trick and pretended to know why they took me to the roof in the first place. I wasn’t the best liar at the time but I still managed to fool them, well most of them, the leader still looked suspicious of me. I would be too if I was him, what kind of kid can fall off a three story building and still be ok when he was obviously tied up? Sounds like some Houdini shit, not minor prankster level. But still I was off the hook, that’s all that matters.

After the incident, we all got yelled at (again) and I was reassigned a new room that had slightly nicer people than my former. I did my best to cause less trouble so I wouldn’t stand out as much, I didn’t want anyone to notice me in case I seemed different than the others.

Time passes, I went to school, but got bored since I knew most of the information from John being with Jade for three years on the ship, I got adopted a couple of times but they never lasted, with the exception of the last one. I was sixteen years old during my final adoption, taken in by a hispanic woman in her early 50s, a woman by the name of Anna Cortez. She was very kind but tended to dedicate her existence for others instead of herself, I hated she didn’t think for herself more. Still, she was my mother, a pretty damn good one too, and loved her like any son would. She gave me a whole name, before, I only had a first name, but Anna gave me a name to be proud of.

So let me finally introduce myself, my name is Vito Renato Cortez.

Freaking amazing. Now that that’s out of the way lets continue.

During my time with my adopted mother, I experienced a lot even if I was only with her for less than two years. She taught me Spanish for one, even though I was hispanic on the outside, I’d never spoken a single word outside English before, but she was patient and taught me well. She also taught me her culture, which she took pride in, and how to work hard. She gave me a home but was unfortunately associated with the wrong people, if I was to give you an example I would say her husband or even his brother, Dino. Yea, I’ll go with his brother, the biggest douchebag I’ve met on earth. If I were to compare his douchebaggery to someone, I would put him on the same level as Jack Noir, well maybe a little lower than that, but only a little. I only say this because he’s gotten a lot of people killed, maybe he didn’t physically kill them with a knife or whatever but he’s given the orders for their execution! The crappiest part about it is that he always gets away with it, he’s got enough money and internal connections to get himself out of almost any crime he commits, it’s total bullshit.

Ugh. I remember one day he told me, “René, you are one lucky kid, you have no idea, sobrino.”

“What do you mean? And stop calling me that.”

“I mean you were taken in by the most foolishly giving woman in the whole state as her son.”

“So?” I’d said obviously annoyed.

“So I hope you take pride in that sobrino,” he’d sneered and then left the room.

And then later that night my mother was brutally murdered inside her own house, I had no doubts about who did it. That was about three years ago and I could’ve saved her but I wasn’t even home and that’s what hurts the most.

I left after she died, without Anna, the house I lived in just wasn’t home anymore. So I moved out, quit school completely, and took up the most decent jobs I could find. For a while, I stayed with some (sorta) friends til I saved up enough money to get my own place, said place happened to be a somewhat drafty apartment room with walls too thin for their own good. Said place also happens to be my current home, meaning I still live there, so even though it’s kinda pretty terrible, it gives me a place to sleep, most of the time.

Even though I moved out, my “family” didn’t leave me, Dino was the leader of a rotten group and made making my life a living hell his pastime. Sometimes I think it’s funny how I get older but some things just never change, maybe I did something to piss Vriska off in my past life and she decided to take all my luck away as punishment. Or maybe I just had shitty luck to begin with, that wouldn’t be surprising in the least. So keeping jobs became a difficult thing since Dino would always get people to threaten my boss and coworkers, sometimes if there weren’t a lot of people around, his men would try to rough me up a bit. But I guess some things do change, over the years I grew out of my lanky weak form and trained hard to get stronger so I wouldn’t be, you know, thrown off a roof again?   

So I’m stronger and a little better at fist fighting than the average street thug, so what did I do? I kicked their smug asses down and taught them I wasn’t going to take their shit anymore. _Uncle_ Dino only responded the most logical way he could probably think, he sent more of his goons after me, and I would like to say I was able to beat all of them, but then that would be a lie.

There were too many of them to take alone and I couldn’t just use my windy powers in front of them, that’d be stupid! I didn’t just give up though, I fought, that’s a fact, but I still lost. I was knocked out and taken to some abandoned warehouse, when I woke up I was chained to a chair and I felt like i was thirteen again on the roof. I struggled against the chains ( _seriously who fucking uses chains to hold one guy down, I’m not superman_ ) and then Dino came waltzing in like the pretentious douchebag he is to greet me.

“Have a nice nap René?” he mocked.

“No you moronic shameful clusterfuck of shit,” I replied, Karkat would’ve be proud.

“Calm your words sobrino, you wouldn’t want to end up like your _mother_ , would you?”

Oh hahahahaha real funny.

“What do you want Dino?” I seethed.

“You know René, I’m somewhat of a gambler, and take pride in the bets I make. Do you know why?”

“You could’ve fooled me,” I muttered and then spoke up, “No _Uncle_ I _don’t_ know _why_ you’re a disgrace to the entire human race.”   

And then he punched me across the face, clearly done with my bullshit.

“You are still as much of a brat as when I first met you,” he paced back and forth in front of me, ”As I was saying, I take pride in my bets because I know I **always** win.”

“And what do your bets have to do with me?”

He had suddenly stopped pacing and faced me with with a devilish grin on his face, “I’m going to make a bet but not just any bet. A bet on **you**.”

“Wow what the fuck is this? Some dumb action movie I used to watch when I was younger? Cut to the chase you ass, you make a really shitty villain, just skip all this theatrics and get to the  point.”

I was just **really** tired of it all, I didn’t even care anymore, it’s not like I would’ve died there.

He roared and yelled in my face, and I felt his spit land on skin, but that _only_ lasted five minutes, until he composed himself again.

“You know what?” he sneered, “I’m gonna change my bet and you know what I bet? No, don’t answer that. I’m gonna make a bet and, hell, it’ll be beneficial to you too, sobrino. Ain’t I nice?”  

I opened my mouth to reply but was cut short when he kicked the chair down, which made me bang my head against the concrete floor.

He continued, “I’m gonna make a deal with you, if you can make it out of this building alive, you’re free to go! I won’t send anyone to harass you or meddle in your life again, sound fair?”

 _Yea, but what was the catch, there’s always a catch_ I wanted to say but I could only groan in pain.   

“But I’m betting against you because I don’t think some stupid orphaned punk like you can get out of a burning building, chained to a chair like the mutt you are.”

“What burning building?” I asked.

He only walked away toward the large iron door and raised his hand to signal to someone, the door opened and he called out, “Light it up.”

Not even a minute after, the windows of the warehouse shattered and brown bottles of liquid crashed to the ground and ignited with fire. They threw in molotovs...to burn me alive.

Obviously I didn’t die back then, I mean I could’ve I guess if I wanted to let myself be burned to a crisp, but yea, no thanks. After Dino and his gang left the building, I turned into the wind and got the hell out of that inferno and away from danger. I really didn’t know what to do after I escaped, so I just went home and slept, there wasn’t anything else I could’ve done to be honest. The day after, the charred building was on the news with no bodies to be found, again, I didn’t know what to do so I just...went to work like nothing happened.

And would you guess what happened after that?

Nothing. Nothing happened. No call outs, no harassment, no nothing!

And the day after that?

Nothing!

A week? A month? A year?!

Absolute jack shit nothing! And it’s been like that ever since I’m happy to say. My life is like any other guy on the earth, just going to work, talking to people, going home, paying bills, going to bed....waking up and then it starts all over again. Day in and day out, the same routine everyday, my only relief is the wind and the memories of my friends.

Today is my birthday and I turn twenty years old.

Tonight, I work the late shift at the diner, again.

I’m happy?            

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea again sorry i shouldn't have as much trouble now that im done with telling the past  
> next chapter will be in dave's pov and it'll be told in second person  
> from now on anyone not john/vito will be told in second person just a heads up btw
> 
> and if you didn't know why vito's uncle calls him René because of his middle name Renato  
> and sobrino means nephew


	5. The Apple Isn’t Always Sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i finally finished this on my birthday (like 2 days ago) but was delayed cause editing is a thing sorry
> 
> this chapter is much longer than the last i think (ㆁᴗㆁ✿) 
> 
> reminder: anyone not vito is in 2nd person

Your name isn’t important right now, what’s important right now is how fucking mad you are, like volcanoes erupting and dinosaurs roaring in the distance mad.

You are just really fucking pissed.

Tonight you were supposed to be having a date with this chick from your geology class, which she didn’t show up to and only bothered to text you she canceled an _hour_ after the scheduled time. Now you don’t actually like _like_ this girl, she’s pretty hot, but you’re not heartbroken over some shitty date-that-didn’t-happen.

No. What you’re mad about is that today happens to be a very important day, an important day you’d rather not be reminded about, in which you are alone.

You really didn’t want to be alone today, it makes you think about things too much. Like how much you regret everything you do, or what you could’ve done to fix things, or what you should be doing.

_What should you be doing?_

Not thinking, that’s what.

It’s late now and you consider heading back to your apartment when your stomach grumbles in annoyance. You almost forgot you didn’t eat dinner yet, probably because you were supposed to be having dinner with your date. You decide for a moment whether you should go home and actually make something to eat or just buy some food somewhere. You notice you don’t actually know where the fuck you are so going home might not be an option anymore. Shit.

_Really though, where are you?_

You look around and nothing looks familiar, not that anything should really be familiar, you only moved to this city about a month ago. Still, this could be a problem.

You make the decision to just walk a couple blocks and see if that gets you anywhere, better than just standing here lost, you guess. After three blocks and too much time to yourself, you turn the corner on whim and see a brightly lit retro dinner on the end of the street. Mr. Stomach growls louder to remind you you’re still hungry, you don’t know how you keep forgetting something like that. You contemplate going in there to eat.

Duh, of fucking course you’re going in, you’re starving out here, why waste time.

You’re down the street in less than a minute before pushing open the glass door of the diner, a bell chimes above your head as you enter. The diner is practically empty with the exception of the couple in the back corner booth and the old guy sitting at the counter. A somewhat muscular  man behind the counter has his back turned to you, addresses you with a gruff voice, “Hold up kid someone’ll be with you in a moment, just sit anywhere, our server will get to you with a menu.”   

You shrug and mutter something like a _Yea, alright cool_ and seat yourself in one of the booths, away from the couple. You look out the window and lean on your hand while waiting, footsteps sound nearby and you think it’s your waiter with your menu. His reflection appears in the window and he’s certainly not the muscle guy you first saw, you turn toward him, yea, this guy’s your waiter alright.

He’s looking down at the table, writing on a card?  You think it’s one of those server cards where they write their name so you can at least remember who to ask for if you come back or something. He finishes quickly enough and introduces himself while grabbing one of the menus from his apron, “Hello, I’ll be your server for tonight, my name is-”

The menu is held out and you think he only just now bothered to look at you because he’s just kinda staring at you with this gutted fish look on his face. Like he’s really surprised to see you, like he _knows_ you.

You’ve never met this guy in your entire life. You’d like to think you remember someone like him.

Because well shit he’s attractive, like really, really attractive.   

He’s still just staring at you and you raise an eyebrow at him, it’s been like five minutes how long is he goi-

He suddenly blinks a couple times like he’s just now come to his senses and closes his slackened jaw, he looks away from you and starts rubbing his face with both hands, an exasperated sigh heaves out. You’re about to say something when your stomach growls again and his head snaps over to look at you, his eyes wide. His face relaxes a bit and gives you a small sheepish smile, “Ah, sorry I just- you look like someone I used to know so um...”

“Uh, no problem, I get that alot. So about that menu...” you remind him.

He laughs awkwardly and holds up the menu again, “Oh yea,” and starts to hand you the menu, when he stops again.

It’s kinda pissing you off now and you’re about to just forget this shit and go when he interrupts you, “Actually is there anything in particular you’re craving for? It doesn’t have to be on the menu.”

“What?”

“Um I can cook you up something even if it’s not on the menu, like pizza or uh stew?”

You give a little smirk before answering, “Do you normally offer this kinda thing?”

“Not really, just think of it as an apology for acting like an idiot just now.”

“It’s cool dude, not everyone can resist the Strider charm.”

He rolls his eyes but he smiles and laughs, “Suuure it is.”

“So...anything right?”

“Yep. Anything you want!”

You consider making a flirtatious joke but you’re too hungry so you decide against it this time.

“Ok...uh sweet and sour chicken then.”

His nose scrunches up a bit and looks at you somewhat confused, “Couldn’t you have just gone to chinese place down the street for that?”

You didn’t know there was one down the street but you don’t say that and just shrug instead.

“You said _anything_.”

“Alright, fine. Can you wait about fifteen-twenty minutes?”

“Got an apple I can eat while I wait, waiter?”

“What?” he looks confused again.

“I’m actually starving if you didn’t hear my stomach crack a complain earlier.”

“Oh yea sure I’ll grab you one real quick and get cooking,” he smiles again, “My name’s Vito by the way, not waiter.”

“Dave,” is all you reply.

His face falters for a second and he’s smiling big again, “Alright Dave, I’ll be back in a sec.”

And he’s gone, most likely to the kitchen, now what? You look down at the table hoping something will entertain you but you look up again when you hear loud, gruff laughing by the counter. It’s the muscle guy, the one who first greeted you when you came in, he’s handing Vito an apple (?) with one hand and clasping Vito’s shoulder with the other, he whispers something you can’t hear despite the fact that he’s the only one talking. You see Vito visibly redden a bit and he slaps muscle guy’s hand off before hissing, “It’s not like that!” To which muscle guy only laughs even louder that you can almost feel it echo off the walls.

Vito’s cheeks are still reddish when he returns to your table with your apple and hands it to you while avoiding any serious eye contact, which in all honesty is really cute. ( _Gaaaay_ ) You mutter a thanks before biting into the heavenly god given gift of fruit and almost moan at the taste of it, you really had no idea how hungry you were. Apparently Vito was still there because you could hear snickering next to you and you look over to see his hand covering his mouth to suppress his obvious laughter. He hands you a napkin and says something like, “On your face,” before leaving.

You wipe your mouth and noticed the juices from the apple were practically dripping down from your chin onto the table, you almost facepalm at your embarrassment. You abstain from doing so knowing you’d probably only succeed in making your shades and most likely your hair sticky from the apple.

After wiping up some, you finish your apple, cautiously, but you’re still kinda a mess when you’re done and it’s only been like five-eight minutes since. Looking around the diner you note the old man at the counter is gone but you don’t really care, you’re looking for the bathroom...and there it is. You get up and head over and you can hear sizzling in the back ( _the kitchen_ ) on your way and swear you smell heaven before you enter the bathroom. It’s relatively clean for a diner bathroom and wash up quick enough without having to worry about an empty soap container or no paper towels.

When you get back out the couple from the booth is getting ready to leave and you stride past them without glancing over but you swear the girl whispers, “Good luck!” in your direction and giggles. Making no outward signs that you heard her, you just head back to your seat and the bell above the door chimes and you know they’re gone. You can pretty much guess what she meant and decide to glance over at the counter.

There’s some smoke coming out from the wide window that leads to the back but you don’t smell anything burning and assume your food probably isn’t charcoal by now. It actually smells tangy and your stomach craves for it, you grumble as your stomach practically roars, sounding the figurative alarms that the beast is attacking, everyone take cover! You curl in on yourself and lay your forehead on the table as your stomach continues to _not_ shut up. This is it everyone, say your goodbyes to the people you love, the beast is here and there won’t be any survivors when it wrecks shit.

A plate clatters in front of your head and you look up and holy shit. It was like little angels came from the clouds above and decided to bless you with the miracle that’s in front of you because you swear the food is glowing gold and angelic singing can be heard. You almost want to cry at how glorious it is. This is the best sweet and sour chicken you’ve ever laid eyes on and you eat a _lot_ of chinese food, but does it taste as good as it looks?

You must’ve been staring too long because there’s a hand waving in your face and you look up to see Vito’s concerned/confused face.

“You ok? You’ve been staring at your food for like five minutes, aren't you hungry?”

“Sorry bro just basking in the excellence that is fine cuisine here,” you say as you gesture towards your food.

“Haha yea, well it’s cool you think it _looks_ good but I’d rather you try it and say it tastes good instead.”

“Yea. Right. Ok,” you look down and notice there’s no silverware and look back up at him.

He hands you fucking chopsticks with a crooked smile like he already knew you didn’t know you didn’t have a fork, you’re pretty sure he did this on purpose. You kinda snatch the chopsticks out of his hand, separate them without splintering ( _sweet_ ), pick up a piece and take a bite.

It’s as tangy as you smelled but there’s undeniable spicy kick to it that makes your lips tingle, yet it’s still sweet and the chicken is tender and juicy inside, it’s fucking amazing. The food on the plate disappears in no time and you can’t remember where it went. It’s entered the space vacuum that leads to the firey pits of stomach acid for all you know, oh wait, because it did.

Vito’s silently chuckling into his fist when you regain your senses.

“Bro, marry me,” you deadpan with the straightest face you can muster.

He busts out laughing not even bothering to try and hide it this time.

“Sorry Dave I don’t see a ring, what happened to courtship? Or is that not a thing anymore?” he’s still not done laughing his ass off.

He stops soon enough though and wipes at his eye. _Did he cry laughing?_

“Oh my god you are such a dork, dude,” you say.

“Sorry it was just-,” he snickers a bit, ”funny to me. So I’m assuming the food was good?”

It was the best thing thats ever touched your saliva glands and entered your acid pool but you only say, “Yea, it was ok.”

He stares at you blankly and then narrows his eyes.

“Dave that is total bs and you know it. I just watched you suck up practically two servings of sweet and sour chicken in less than a minute.”

You decide to act like an indifferent asshole and only shrug at his accusation.

“Oh that’s too bad I guess,” he turns away from you slowly like he’s about to leave ,”and here I was gonna offer dessert. A shame.”

And fuck your pride sideways you are getting dessert.

“Hold it there waiter mc waiterson, server among servers, butler-”

He turns back to you, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, “Dave, I am not, by any means, a butler of any kind.”

Your hands come up defensively, “Alright dude sorry, didn’t mean to offend. Also, your food was fucking amazing.”

He stares for a moment and his expressions softens into another smile, “Yea I know, you really shouldn’t act like an insufferable prick about it though.”

“Woah, calm down with the harsh names or my dainty heart might break to pieces here.”

More laughing and you like the sound of it.

“So do I still get dessert?” you ask cautiously.

“Hmmmmmmm, lemme think about it,” and he makes this exaggerated expression as if it’s something he actually has to think about.

“C'mon man, stop being such a tease, you really got my hopes up here, can’t leave a guy hanging.”

“Funny. Weren’t you doing something similar to me earlier?”

“No, enough of the past, let’s think about the future here bro. The sweet, sweet future.”

“That was lame and I’m wondering if you even tried there.”

“I’m gonna be up front with you and just ask do I get dessert or not? Cause you can’t just be handing out promises you can’t keep like those creepers in the white van when they stop next to a kid and asks em if they want candy but there’s really no candy and-”

“Dave,” he interrupts your rambling. _Whoops_. And your accent came out. _Shut up_.

“Yes?”

“Stop running your mouth and order the dessert you want so badly before I bash your head out with the wok in the back.”

“Little early in the broship to be giving death threats isn’t it?”

“It’s never too early for death threats Dave, never, now order before they stop being threats.”

“So violent,” he give you an _I mean business_ look and it’s almost funny but you should really answer him, “Uh surprise me.”

“Dude, if you had told me that like forever ago instead of stalling you could have already had it in front of you,” he grumbles then just abruptly leaves you again.

He didn’t even tell you what he’s going to make or how long you have to sit here bored again. Luckily, you aren’t by yourself for long because you hear footsteps again and oh, it’s just muscle man.

“Hey,” he greets you ( _damn his voice is deep_ ) and sits in the booth seat across from you.

“Sup.”

“So, how you like my kid?”

“He’s _your_ son?” you ask almost incredulous.

He laughs insanely loud and like last time it echos except this time it’s right in front of you and you think your ears are ringing now.

“You’re funny, but no he’s not my son by blood if that’s what you mean. I hired him, that’s it.”

“So why-”

“His mother was my wife’s best friend, I’ve been looking after him as if he were my son since she passed.”

You give a blank stare but your heart twinges in remorse, not for Vito’s mom, but for your own mother.

“I’m sorry,” it sounds almost empty but you are sympathetic and sincere about it even if it doesn’t show.

He gives a strained smile, “She was a good woman, always looking out for everyone, no matter who they were or what they did, she was a saint. Just a damn shame tha-”

“Kurt.”

You both turn and there stands Vito, a platter in hand and a glare on his face.

Muscle guy shoots you an apologetic smile and turns away to gets up, “Alright, alright, I get it, I’m going,” he stands and cracks his back, then glances back at you, ”Name’s Curtis by the way, call me Kurt though. It’s shorter to say and that’s all that matters,” and strolls away to the back.

“Don’t mind him, he’s an idiot,” Vito tells you and begins setting down two plates on the table. There’s a good sized slice of cake, two scoops of vanilla ice cream, and caramel drizzled on top on each plate, the cake is obviously fresh out the oven since steam is still rising off it.

“What’s with the two plates?” you ask.

“It’s almost closing time and I’m pretty sure no one else is coming in tonight, so I made me a plate,” he sits down where Kurt was and hands you a spoon, but avoids eye contact with you.

“Ok cool. So...cake?”

“Yep,” he digs in and takes a bite, “Happy Birthday to me,” he mutters with his mouth full.

_Oh._

You don’t say anything and take a bite too. It’s good, you think you taste apple and cinnamon in the cake and it’s just really good but you can bring yourself to stop thinking. Your appetite isn’t there anymore and you remember what today is.

_Happy Birthday John._

You take another bite.

The cake is bittersweet.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am not the best writer. no. not at all. 
> 
> next chapter might be from several different views so look out （｀ー´）


	6. Home Has Never Been So Close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god, it's done, i can't believe it
> 
> 'nother long chapter enjoy

Your spoon clinks against the plate when you finish and the mood is still somewhat dark and tense. You glance over at Vito on the other side, he’s staring blankly out the window while half of his cake still remains in a puddle of melted ice cream. You decide to speak up, “Hey Vi-”

“ALRIGHT KIDS PACK IT UP, CLOSING TIME!” Kurt abruptly booms.

You’re both startled because _Really? He doesn’t need to yell, jesus, he’s loud enough_. You think you accidently mumbled that out loud because Vito is attempting to suppress his laughter again. He fails and accidentally chokes out a cracked laugh from behind his hands and you can’t help but laugh at him. He looks embarrassed but tries to form an angry glare at you, “What?! No Dave, shut up!”

You laugh harder.

“Oh my god Dave stop laughing,” he says and looks away with a face of disgust, “Ugh. This is your fault! Now he’s broken, good job Kurt,” he gestures at you with his hand.

You sober up quick because this is unlike you, you don’t just laugh in public places (regardless of the fact this place is practically empty) unless it’s with your friends. _Weird_. The whole thing wasn’t even _that_ funny.

“I would offer you a to-go box, kid, but it look like you won’t need one,” Kurt breaks you from your thoughts.

You look up at him, then back down to your empty plate, “Nope, guess not,” you look over at Vito, “What do you think, waiter? Do I need a to-go box?”

He bites his lip to stop himself from smiling, it really just doesn’t work, you vaguely wonder why he even tries.

“No Dave, you ate everything that appeared in front of you.”

“Yea? Not my fault you make delicious food.”   

“Alright enough about the food,” Kurt declared then promptly stares at Vito, ”And you. You’re still on the clock so get cleaning, cause I don’t know about you, but I’d like to get home sometime tonight.”

Oh yea, you forgot about that. _How do you get home?_

Vito grumbles and gets up from his seat while Kurt smirks and leaves to the back without another word. Vito starts picking up the plates and you decide you should just ask, “Hey, Vito?”

“Yea?” he answers automatically.

“Do you know where...uh,” wow what was your apartment complex’s name?

“Where what?,” hes asks confused.

“Ok, look I’m actually kinda new to town and-”

“I can tell,” he interrupts and goes back to clearing the table.

“ **And** I can’t-I don’t know how to get back to my apartment,” you mutter annoyed.

He stares at you again, “So...you’re lost?”

“What? No. Yes. Maybe,” you sputter, somewhat embarrassed at yourself.

“Wow lame,” he comments and you glare from behind you shades, ”I’ll help you out, what street is it on?”

You think for a moment before replying, “Uh Ravenwald, i think, probably.”

He looks at you like you’re crazy before realizing that you’re actually serious, “Oh.”

“ _Oh_ , what? Dude, don’t tell me it’s like really far away, I’ve only got enough money to pay for dinner, can’t afford some shitty taxi that’ll purposely get lost and then charge me extra for-”  

“Dave, shut up,” you close your mouth, he continues, ”Don’t worry it’s not that far away, I’ll walk you there myself if you don’t mind waiting a bit for me to finish up.”

“Uh..sure. Don’t mind waitin’,” you trail off. Your accent came out again. _Ugh_.

He smiles brightly and swiftly takes the stacked plates to the back, probably to wash them.

Surprisingly, it only takes him less than five minutes before he returns to the table, your check in hand.

“That was quick,” you remark.

He shrugs and hands you the bill. You’re actually kinda worried about it since you never even read the menu, let alone look at the prices, and not forgetting your food was basically a custom order. Welp.

You look anyway and it’s...only fourteen dollars and some change. That’s...not bad, actually that’s pretty cheap considering everything you ordered and fish out your wallet from your pocket. You open it and there’s exactly one twenty dollar bill inside ( _you’re gonna have to go to the bank tomorrow_ ), you pull it out with ease and hand him it.

He takes it and you mutter, ”Keep the change or whatever.”

He looks at the money, then you and grins, “Thanks Dave.”

You smirk and he leaves again to get your receipt, which only takes him a minute and he’s back with a backpack.

“Ready to go?” he asks, shrugging on the backpack.

“Uh yea sure,” you get up, ”There isn’t anything else you have to do?”

“Nah. It was really dead tonight, I pretty much finished cleaning the whole restaurant hours ago. The only thing I had to clean was your dishes.”

“Sweet,” you reply and follow him as he walks down the aisle toward the door.

The bell chimes again when he opens the door but before you can leave, there’s a hand on your shoulder.

“Hold it kids,” Kurt says, he sounds and looks serious.

You stare at him wide eyed behind your shades because you didn’t do shit, then look over at Vito, suspicious, he’s staring at Kurt with the most annoyed expression on his face.

“What?” Vito asks, still annoyed.

Kurt barks a laugh at him and maneuvers around you to ruffle his hair, to which Vito grumbles and tries to push him away. Kurt then proceeds to trap him in a headlock and give him a noogie, Vito retaliates by punching him in the stomach. Kurt lets go with an “oof” and rubs it, laughing weakly, “You don’t go easy anymore do you? Holy hell.”

He frowns, looking a little guilty and grumbles, “Well it’s your own fault. What do you want anyway? I’m pretty sure I didn’t forget anything.”

“Sure you did Vi,” and he reaches in his pocket, his hand is in a fist when he pulls it back out, ”Hold out your hand.”

Vito furrows an eyebrow but complies.

“Happy Late Birthday kid,” and places something in his open palm, they’re gold cufflinks with a sapphire in the middle of each, Vito smiles at him but it looks forced to you.

“Thanks Kurt,” and he pockets them, then notices you still exist, ”Oh sorry Dave, we can go now I’m pretty sure,” then glances back at Kurt, questionably.

Kurt makes a gruff laugh, “Yea, sorry to keep you here so long kids,” he shoves you and Vito out the door, making you stumble, “Stay safe!” he calls out and shuts the door.  

You both just stand there and stare at eachother for a moment before you shrug and start walking down the sidewalk without another word. It’s really late you think because there are barely any cars around except for the ones parked on the sides of the street. You are momentarily lost in thought for a second before you are (physically) pulled back for the second time today and dragged backwards the opposite direction and across the street.     

“What the hell man?!” you squawk and try to turn so you’re walking forward.

Vito lets go of you and stops, you correct yourself and glare at him as best as you can.

“Dave,” he starts, ”When someone offers you guidance home, you are supposed to **follow** them, not lead them when you don’t have a clue where to go! I thought you want to go home?!”

 _Oh yea_.

You give yourself this half assed facepalm because what the fuck were you thinking? _Clearly you weren’t, dumbass_.

“I-yea sorry, I guess I’m just really tired, I don’t know what i was thinking.”

He gives you a small smile, “Yeah, it’s not your fault, I know what you mean,” he pulls out a cell phone from his pocket, turns it on, checks it, then off, ”We should hurry up though, it’s almost twelve thirty already.”

“That’s not as late as I thought it was,” you comment, you start walking, together this time.

“Yea we normally close later than this at the diner, I think Kurt was just trying to be nice.”

“Well at least I don’t have to aimlessly wander the streets like a confused hobo for the night.”

He laughs and turns the corner, you follow.

“So...today was your birthday?” you ask hesitantly.

He visibly winces, “Yesterday, if we’re being technical, but yea.”

“Ok,” he’s obviously not comfortable with that topic so you don’t pry, “It was my friend’s birthday too.”

“Really?” his interest genuinely piqued.

“Uh, yea, she turned nineteen, finally,”

His face falters for a second again and you think you see disappointment in his eyes but you can’t really tell, too dark for this face reading crap. He puts up this big smile anyway and asks, ”That’s great, what’s her name?”

“Name’s Jane.”

His smile softens into something more genuine, ”Ok, tell me about her.”

“Ok, um, she likes jokes and pranks a lot, probably cause that stuff runs in their family or something, I don’t really know why they’re so obsessed with that stuff even to this day. Uh, she’s a pretty gutsy girl, which I guess make her pretty reckless but she’s still cool. She bakes anything that can be considered a dessert, not that that’s bad, everything she makes is pretty rockin and it’s not always sweets, she makes other stuff too.”

He hasn’t stopped you yet and you don’t really know why you’re telling him all this, you both cross the street and decide to continue.

“She’s working on taking over the Betty Crocker industry, her family is connected to it somehow, making her the heiress of it or something. We didn’t actually want her to take up the job, but Jane’s pretty stubborn like that,” you smile a bit at the thought of it, ”You know what she said? She said, ‘I’m gonna change the company, make it expand even more than before, in the **right** way,’ after that we couldn’t really say no to her. Not that she would’ve listened to us but ya know I’m just glad she was able to find something without being held back.”

He’s still smiling but it’s close lipped and wide, you wonder if it hurts to keep smiling for so long.

“What about you?” he asks suddenly.

You raise an eyebrow, “What about me?”

“Well,” he looks a little uncertain now, ”Is there something you want to do?”

“Oh yea, uh, I guess so, that’s kinda what I’m here for.”

He stares at you curiously, “So what are you here for?”

“College. Studying to be a paleontologist.”

He whistles loudly, “Wow. Never would’ve guessed that, you don’t look like the scientist type.”

You can’t help but laugh, “Yea, I don’t think so either, most of the time I just wonder if I’m making the right decisions in life.”

He frowns and stares at the sidewalk, “There’s not really a right or wrong decision when it comes to life. You just kinda make choices and if you happen to fuck up,” he looks back up at you, “You can only struggle to try an fix it and if you succeed, then you can decide if it was right or not.”

You stop abruptly and stare at him thrown off, he stops too, looking anxious.

“Um, sorry, just spouting nonsense, don’t mind me,” he says embarrassed and starts walking again.

You catch up to him and grab his arm, he looks over at you, “It’s not nonsense, I was just surprised, that’s all,” you explain.  

“Oh. Ok then. Um...your hand,” he points out and you realize you’re still holding his arm.

You let go quickly and drop your hand to your side, “Sorry,” you mutter.

He smiles at you a little awkward, “It’s fine,” he looks up at the street sign, his expression brightens more, “Come on, let’s go, we’re almost there,” he encourages.

You smirk as you follow him as he leads the way, you two don’t talk much the rest of the way, but it’s not a terrible silence. When you finally arrive on the street, it’s strangely more brightly lit than the others you passed, you happen to look up and notice dozens of christmas lights strung across opposite apartment buildings.

“Uh?” you point at the lights questionably.

Vito only laughs and continues walking until he gets the the entrance of your apartment building.

“This one?” he asks.

“Yeah...how’d you know?”

He rolls his eyes, “Dave there’s only two apartment buildings on this street, fifty-fifty chance bro.”   

You knew that. _Lies_. You just shrug at him.

“I still don’t get how you could get lost,” he says.

“What?”

“Dude that didn’t even take us ten minutes to get here, what do you mean by what?”

Your internal clock is clearly broken because you swear that was way more than ten minutes.

“You liar, there was no way that wasn’t more than ten minutes,” you accuse.

“Dave.”

“Vito,” you respond back.

He huffs annoyed, “You know what, let’s just go already,” and heads through the door.

...What?

“Hey, hold up,” you rush to follow and catch up right away again, “How far are you planning to _guide_ me home? We’re already here dude, I can get to my room just fine from here. Hello?”

You both reach the elevator and he presses the button, the doors open up automatically and he steps inside. He stares at you quizzically when you don’t enter right away, “Coming?”

 _Ah fuck it_. You step inside just as the doors start to close, he smiles and presses the fourth floor button. That’s not your floor.

“Uh, Vito, wrong floor, fuck you didn’t even ask what floor, what am I talking about.”

He rolls his eyes again, “Ok, what floor?

“Jesus. It’s the top floor,” he presses the button.

“Wow, what were you even thinking when you got your apartment?”

“Vito what are you even-,” the elevator dings and the doors open on the fourth floor.

“Welp this is my stop,” he exits the elevator and waves back at you enthusiastically, ”I’ll see you around Dave!”

The elevator doors close and you’re dumbstruck.

What. The. Fuck.

 

**\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vito**

 

Do you ever get that feeling where you feel like your feet won’t move fast enough?

Yea, well that’s what I’m feeling like right now. It’s just one hallway, why can I be at the door yet?

Oh look nevermind, there’s my door and I open it without unlocking it because it was never locked in the first place! Clearly, I’m over excited and need to calm down, I step inside, close the door, and proceed to have a mental breakdown.

Because, because oh my god, I saw Dave! My best bro in the flesh! It’s not like I’ve never seen him in person before but that was...that was John. But I met him, I talked to him, I freaking walked him home for pete’s sake! We got along so well too, it was as if we were still friends like it was just John and Dave hanging out like normal. I mean if there had been a time for normal.

My back connects with the door and I sink down to the floor, why is life so difficult? Was it so hard for-for whoever the hell it was that reset our lives to give me a happy one? Was this my own fault? Maybe this was just some kind of fucked up punishment for starting sburb, starting the game, ultimately killing everyone.

I curl into myself, unable to control my train of thought, this occurs more frequently than before, or maybe it was always like this.

Suddenly, my spine starts to tingle, it’s not a bad feeling but I don’t understand why it’s-

Now it feels like a thousand needles are stabbing into my brain and I hold my head, willing it to STOP! I smack my head against the door several times and it only creates a new pain but doesn’t dull the old one, in fact it only increases and I swear I’m gonna die.

Then I can’t feel anything, my limbs feel like pudding, and slump against the door, my vision blurs and I black out.

 

**\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dave**

 

You step into your apartment still sorta shocked, who would’ve thought he actually lives in the same complex as you? Not you, that’s who.

It’s cool though, now you’ll have someone to hang with, probably, and you won’t be lonely.

Not that you were ever lonely or anything, you just haven’t really connected with another human being since you moved here, so yea. It’s not like you can’t talk to your friends, you have your laptop and phone for that. Which reminds you and you pull out your dead phone from your pocket, it died fairly early in the night, almost right after your date cancelled. Which was weird because it wasn’t anywhere near dead battery before that or maybe your phone is just a piece of shit, oh well.

Your apartment isn’t the best but the layout really reminds you of your apartment when you lived in Texas and the fact it’s on the top floor gives you easy access to the roof. Of course it’s not perfect, the building isn’t as tall as the one in Texas (not that it’s bad) and you don’t have your family around.

Not that you’re gonna get sappy all of a sudden, but you miss them even though they’re all pretty much assholes. Still, they’re **your** asshole family.

Your phone buzzes to life out of nowhere, you haven’t even plugged it in yet and it’s loading up. It blinks once and goes to your lock screen, you unlock it, confused, and the phone is at full battery. It buzzes again to notify you of thirty two new text messages, fourteen missed calls, and five new voicemail messages, you groan and plop down on your used couch to see who they’re from.

A couple from Dirk, a bunch of long rants from Karkat, some slurred messages from Rose’s mom, other messages from your older brothers, Terezi, Roxy, and Jade. The last message you read is from Rose telling you to call her as soon as you can, which sounds urgent so you dial her number as soon as you finish reading the message. It rings four times before she answers the phone.

“What?” she hisses angrily.

“I don’t know Rose, you tell me, you’re the one who wanted me to call.”

“Dave, that was hours ago and as much as I would love to indulge in a conversation with you at four in the morning, I really think I should be sleeping,” she grumbles.

Oh right time zones happen to be a thing. You look for a clock but it’s still dark in your apartment, so you can’t exactly see anything, you glance behind you and the microwave glows one eleven am.

“Dave?”

“Oh, yea, sorry Lalonde, didn’t realize the time.”

“Well that’s new,” her interest obviously perked despite her lack of sleep, “And here I was thinking a time player like you **always** knew what time it was at all times. Something happen?”

“Shut up. No, nothing’s happened, I just didn’t know what time it was.”

“Dave, do I have to contact Dirk to find recordings of you gloating about how you always know what time it is at all times?” she threatens.

“...no,” you’re not exactly sure if she would bother but you wouldn’t put it past you either, nor do you doubt the fact your brother wouldn’t have a voice recording of you saying something like that.

“David.”

“That’s not even-”

“Dave, we both know I can gain access to your birth certificate, we also know what it says, so don’t even.”

You grumble, “What happened to it being four in the morning?”   

“Why are you avoiding the question?” she urges.

“I’m not avoiding anything.”

“Then why didn’t you talk to us yesterday?” she asks, her voice growing angry.

“That’s not my fault, my phone died, I didn’t even read my messages until a little while ago.”

“And your laptop?”

“I was out all day.”

“Out?”

“Yea, out. I tried that thing you suggested to me, you know, socializing?”

“Did you now? And how did it go?” her voice lightens.

“My date cancelled an hour after the date time,” you deadpan.

“Oh Dave, I’m so sorry,” she sounds genuine about it.

“Nah, it’s cool. Ended up meeting a hot latino dude at a diner, so it evens out.”

“Oh really well tha-,” Rose is cut off by a beep from your phone.

You look at it and apparently the battery is almost dead again.

“What the hell?” you mutter.

“Dave. Dave?” Rose calls.

“Rose, I think my phone is seriously broken here, it’s almost dead again, it was just on full battery. I think I’ll have to talk to you later.”

“Ask Dirk about it, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind helping you if you asked.”

“G’night sis,” you grumble.

“Good night Dave.”

You hang up and yawn, stretching your limbs. It’s late, you decide, and since your phone is playing bipolar, there’s no real point in trying to answer your other messages. You rise from the couch and shuffle to your bedroom, you don’t bother turning on any lights, you’ve already memorized where everything is.

Once in your room, you plug in your shitty cellphone and plop down on your bed, sleep overtakes your conscious instantly.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are a lot of hints for things i cannot say but one day they will make sense (probably)  
> also rose, i'm sorry, i don't know if you're written well enough  
> and the end was only barely acceptable to me (i won't rush ๏_๏) 
> 
>  
> 
> next chapter will have new characters and new povs  
> it will be exciting! and DRAMATIC!! (⊙‿⊙✿)


	7. History Is Such A Fickle Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> took longer than i wanted, i got busy with some things sorry  
> there was actually supposed to be more for this chapter but i figured it would be ok to cut it at this point  
> dad egbert pov this time
> 
> also! fun thing to look out for this chapter:  
> connect all the bolded words together in order to find the hidden sentence!  
> "~" and "-----(name)" doesn't count
> 
> this wasn't done on purpose at first but when i noticed it i decided i should point it out (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)

Your name is James Egbert and at this moment in time your girlfriend happens to be in labor. You’re at the hospital with her and your parents have no idea what’s happening right now. You never told them and now...you really wish you did because you are frightened, not for yourself, but for your girlfriend.

She’s not doing well, her face is red, slick with sweat, her heartbeat is erratic and dangerous, and there are too many doctors in the room but they won’t tell you a thing.

“Push!” some say.

“No! It’s too dangerous!” the others yell.

Both you and your girlfriend are confused, unsure of what to do, you squeeze her hand and she clutches onto it for dear life, nails digging into your skin. It hurts but she needs you, you know that.

It is a long and dreadful process of pushing and painful screaming that never seems to end. A nurse coos to her _it’s almost over dear, hang in there_ , although she barely looks conscious enough to hear anything. Her grip on your hand has also loosened and her eyes are lidded and twitch like she can’t keep them open for much longer. You are beyond afraid for this girl, you just love her so much and regret leaks into your heart, it hurts, you start crying.

The heart monitor has been going off for awhile and the doctors have been yelling how she’s losing too much blood, how you need to leave the room. You don’t want to leave, you can’t leave her, you tighten your grip on her hand as they try to make you leave. You yell and scream at them telling them you won’t leave and they have to drag you out of the room by force.

You sit in one of the hospital chairs in the hall, your face in your hands, you feel tired, exhausted. Your nerves eat at you as you wait and one of the nurses attempts to offer you water but you can only hide behind your hands and mumble a no.

Minutes later a sharp piercing cry cuts through the hospital, silencing everyone around you. You glance over at the the doors of the operation room and the wailing of a baby can be heard, you feel hopeful suddenly and get out of your chair, almost giddy. A long range beep goes off from inside the room and you falter in your movement as a flurry of voices panic from inside.

You stand in front of the doors, numb, you close your eyes, “I’m sorry,” you whisper.

Later, a doctor comes out to inform you that your girlfriend died giving birth, he sounds apologetic.  

“What about the baby? What about my child?” you ask, frantic.

He gives a tired smile, “The baby’s fine. Congrats Mr. Egbert, your girlfriend gave birth to a healthy baby boy.”

You choke out a sob, overcome with feeling, and the doctor pats you on the shoulder awkwardly.

“Do you want to see him?” he asks.

You nod because you’re too busy crying to say anything coherent. He leads you into the operation room and you almost panic, afraid you’ll see your girlfriend again. However, she’s not there when you enter and that only makes you feel worse. The doctor talks to one of the nurses, she nods and gathers up what looks like a bundle of baby blue blankets and coos at it, you recognize her, she was the one who was by your girlfriend’s side earlier.

She looks at you and smiles, “He’s a handsome one, he’s got the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen,” then hands you the bundle.

It makes a gurgling noise as you take it into your arms and you look at it, you’re mesmerized. He’s so tiny and fleshy pink, you almost want to laugh, his little hands try to grab at the air and you shift him to one arm to let him grab at your finger. His fingers are meager next to yours as he loosely grasps at it, when he lets go, you move your hand and lightly stroke his small tuft of black hair on his head, it’s soft. He wiggles around in the blanket and slowly opens his eyes, they’re a little clouded but his eyes shine a brilliant pure blue.

You realize you love this boy, your son, and you suddenly feel so so proud to be a father. It’s overwhelming and more tears fall down your face, but this time, you’re smiling.

 

**~**

 

You don’t go home, you don’t talk to your parents or your brother or any of your family, all you do is call your girlfriend’s parents. You tell them what happened to their wonderful daughter and you tell them how it’s all your fault, to which you have to repeat things several times because you couldn’t help but sob through the entire confession. When you finally hang up, you go back to the hotel you and your girlfriend were sharing.

You had kept her being pregnant a secret from your parents, scared of being judged, you took your girlfriend to another city so she could give birth there. You realize now you were just being a selfish, ignorant, cowardly boy, and you still are, but now you have to own up to that mistake.

The next morning, you go back to the hospital to pick up your son, Jonathan you named him, and set off to your home city. It takes you a couple of hours by car and when you get there you park your car a house down or two from your home. You take John with you as you survey your home and you know no one is there since all the cars are gone. You’re pretty sure you’ll never get another chance like this so you unlock your door and you never realized how much you missed it.

The house still smells like cake, as it always does, and you know you’ll miss it, but you can’t stay. You go up to your room to pack up your essentials because you’re probably never coming back, your room hasn’t changed since you left, although it’s only been a few days so it’s not surprising to you. You set John down on your bed, he’s sleeping, and pack your suitcase, you take one of your photo albums with you too.

When you finish, it’s too soon, and you’re not sure if you’re ready to leave yet but you don’t know when they’ll be back. You decide to leave a note so you’re family won’t worry about you and gather a pen and sticky notes.

You spend almost ten minutes contemplating what to write until John wakes up and starts crying, and you know you’ve been here too long, you end up writing: ‘I’M SORRY’ and stick the note on the fridge. You leave your house key on the fireplace and exit your home.  

 

**~**

 

You’re now twenty five years and it’s been seven years since you left home and there is not a day that goes by where you don’t miss your family. When you left, you took out the money from your bank account that you and your parents had been saving for something important, like college, too bad it didn’t turn out that way. You’re just lucky your parents were rich enough that you and John can survive with your low paying office work.

Speaking of John, it’s his seventh birthday today and you’ve taken the liberty of taking a day off to spend it with him. You woke up early this morning to bake him a cake from scratch, a family tradition, and even though you sometimes get the feeling your son doesn’t really like the sweets you bake, you make them anyway. The cake has finally cooled down and you’re just about to frost it when you hear screaming from John’s room.

You drop everything and rush to his room, you don’t even bother knocking and practically throw the door open, it smacks against the wall. He has tears streaming down his face with his back against the wall and he’s staring up toward the ceiling with a completely terrified expression, there’s a broken lamp clenched in his fist.

“John?” you call to him, confused.

He flinches but doesn’t look away from the spot on the ceiling.

“John? Jonathan?” you try again, “John, what’s wrong son?”

“D-dad,” his voice trembles but he doesn’t look at you, “Dad, don’t come here. You have to leave, please. Please g-go,” he begs.   

You’re confused and scared because you don’t understand what’s going on, you just want your son to calm down.

“John, I’m not going anywhere please just calm down,” you keep your voice even and take a step forward.

His whole body flinches and he raises the broken lamp up at the ceiling with a fierce expression, “Leave him alone!” he yells.

“No. No, John, please, please put the lamp down,” you hold up your hands, “Please John, there’s nothing there, just put down the lamp,” you plead.

“What are you talking about?! There’s a monster, right there!” he inches forward a bit and gestures toward the ceiling with the lamp, ”It’s Jack, Dad! Jack’s right there! You have to leave or he’ll kill you again!”   

_Again?_

“Son, what are you talking about? I’m not dead. Look John, **John** ,” you will him to look at you and his eyes shift over to you hesitantly, “See? Look I’m not dead John. I’m right here, I never died, I never will son, I’ll always be here for you,” you choke out, you’re crying now too.

Something in him breaks and he drops the lamp and runs to you, you kneel, open your arms out to him and envelop him in a hug. He clings onto your dress shirt with shaking hands, sobbing into your chest as you hold him, you stroke his dark hair and whisper calming words.

You never eat the cake or celebrate that day and life only gets harder.

 

**~**

 

Today is John’s twelfth birthday and your very last days with him. Ever since his seventh birthday, he started hallucinating creatures and events that don’t exist or never happened, so you signed him up for therapy. It never really worked and he just got worse and it just broke your heart.

He started hurting himself, it was never on purpose, but when he would...freak out or see something, he would try to physically fight it, which left him with cuts and bruises. After the first couple of times, you started hiding all the sharp objects in the house and then later any breakables, even then you had to watch him constantly because sometimes he would try punching the wall till his knuckles bleed.

Sometimes, when he was in a calm mood, you would have almost conversations with each other, other times you would just stare at each other in silence and he would just look so sad and  exhausted, you both were.

You weren’t completely surprised when the CPS started badgering you a few years back, you wouldn’t dare harm your son in any way, but it had only been a matter of time before the neighbors reported John’s “episodes”. Which is why you say these are your last days with him... because they’re taking him away from you. The court found you unfit to take care of your own son and you were angry to say the least, but you couldn’t help but wonder if they’re right.

_Are you really capable of taking care of your son?_

You look over at John in the car seat next to you and he’s staring nervously out the window, you figure this is probably because he hasn’t been in a car in a long while.

“You okay?” you ask.

He looks up at you, startled, then looks down at his feet, “I-uh um, yea. D-dad?”

“Yes John?” you smile encouragingly.

He hesitantly glances back up at you, ”Um, why are we in Oregon?”

You’re a little surprised he even knew, but your son isn’t stupid, you shouldn’t be surprised at all.

“We’re here to celebrate your birthday, remember?”

A large frown appears on his face and he starts mumbling, you can’t hear what he said.

“What was that John? Can you speak up a bit? I can’t hear you.”

The light turns green but you don’t have to worry about moving too much since the streets are practically flooded with traffic. John mumbles again, you still can’t hear, you’re getting worried.

“John I-”

“I SAID YOU’RE A LIAR!” he suddenly yells, his face furious.       

Your eyes widen with shock and you start to panic inside but try not to let it show, “Jonathan Egbert, there’s no need to yell in the car,” you scold and add, ”And I’m not lying son, I promise.”

He’s crying now, _no, no don’t cry_ , but he’s still angry, “No. You’re a liar, you said you'd **always** be with me, but you’re letting them take me away, aren’t you?!” he bangs his fist against the car door.

“No John I’d-I didn’t want-”

“It’s my fault isn’t it?! Because I remember everything no one else does!” he interrupts and the car starts to shake, “It’s my fault I’m gonna lose you again, it’s my fault I’m like this. I don’t want to be like this! I DON’T WANT TO **REMEMBER**!”

His eyes suddenly radiate a bright blue light and you feel the car crash, you’re knocked out.

 

**~**

 

When you wake up, you’re in a hospital bed and hear people buzzing around frantically, your heart tightens at the memory of your girlfriend. And then you remember John.

You’re out of the bed in no time and even though you’re groggy and ache all over, your only priority right now is finding your son. You leave your room and enter the hall, which is bustling with activity, and stop the doctors and nurses that pass by you and ask them if they know where your son is. Some of them are too in a hurry to answer you, while others plain don’t know, finally you find a young nurse who knows of your son’s whereabouts.

“Oh! You’re **that** boy’s father!” he exclaims, clearly surprised.

“Yes, I’m Jonathan’s father, where he is?” you say impatiently.

His face falters, “You mean you haven’t heard?”

Your pulse quickens, “Haven’t heard what?” you clutch the collar of his shirt, “What happened to my son?!”

“Whoa, whoa, just calm down,” he panics and grabs your wrists.

You realize you’re acting irrational and let go of the poor young man, “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“I know you’re just worried about your kid, right?” he straightens his shirt.

“I...yes,” your face falls.

He looks at you with pity, “I’ll be upfront with you then, I haven’t really heard anything new about him, but last I saw him he was going through major surgery.”

The blood in your veins runs cold, “Wha-why is he in surgery?”

He stares at you confused, “There...was an accident, remember?”

‘I DON’T WANT TO REMEMBER’ echos through your head.

“Oh God,” you cover your mouth, horrified.

“Yea, I know, a lot of people got hurt, the weird thing about it is no one even knows how the accident happened. I-”

“Sir,” you cut him off, “Please just tell me where I can find him.”

“Oh, sorry, of course,” he looks almost ashamed.

He escorts you down the halls and leads you to a large set of doors, above reads ‘OPERATION’, you feel sick. A doctor carrying a clipboard exits and the nurse asks him about your son.

“You mean Jonathan Egbert? Are you his father?” he questions, flipping the pages on the clipboard.

“Yes, that’s right,” you answer, “Where-”

“He just got out of surgery less than an hour ago, he should be in room two o’ nine at the moment. Although, I’m not sure if he can have any visitors right now, he’s still in critical condition and currently under surveillance.” he stares at you accusingly.  

You realize he probably knows about your affairs with the CPS from the documents he’s holding, so you straighten your posture and put up an air of confidence, “Well if you have surveillance, then it shouldn’t be a problem for me to visit my injured son, should it?”

He glares at you but doesn’t say anything and starts walking away, you figure that was a win, if you were trying to win.

“Uh, I have to get back to work, can you find your son’s room on your own? Or do you still need help with something?” the nurse asks, looking awkward.

“You’re fine, go on ahead. I can get there on my own, thank you for your help,” you nod your head in his direction and head to John’s hospital room.

When you arrive, every ounce of fake confidence you had was smashed to pieces like a glass mask. John is laying in a hospital bed, tubes snake out from him, attaching him to various machines, his breathing sounds labored from underneath the oxygen mask, and his heart struggles beat.

Your son didn’t deserve this, but you didn’t deserve him either.

 

**~**

 

John was to be kept under constant watch for the next couple of days, which was absolutely nerve wracking, and the coffee the hospital provided you didn’t help either.

After the first day, you learned there was another boy sharing the same room as John, simply separated by a curtain. You also learned from the doctors that passed through that he was in worse shape than your son, you didn’t dare visit the boy.   

The second day, you were tired, restless, and clearly unshaven, and your nerves were in the high after John’s doctor told you he was in the red zone again. The nurse who helped you find your son came to check on you occasionally, his name is Aaron Veldt, he tells you when he buys you a sandwich from the cafeteria. He made you eat it and drink water even though you didn’t want it, the thought of food made you sick.

“If you don’t watch yourself, you’ll collapse, and if that happens, who’ll be there for John when he wakes up?” he admonished.

“Mr. Veldt, I don-”

“No, you listen here, _Mr. Egbert_ , you’re son is fighting for his life and I may not be an experienced nurse but I can sure as hell tell when someone’s not taking better care of themselves. So you either need to shape up or that boy won’t have anyone to wake up to, and I know for a fact that when he does, he’s gonna need you more than anything.”

You were speechless for a moment, before you realized he was absolutely right, your son was going to need you, _isn’t that why this whole thing started?_

“Thank you, Mr. Veldt,” you rubbed your eye to get rid of the tears that were forming.

“Aaron,” he says, you only looked at him confused, ”Just call me Aaron,” he smiled.

“James,” you replied, returning the smile, you held out your hand to him.

He clasped your hand with a firm grip and shaked it.

Your mood had lightened and you had sworn to yourself to stay strong for you and John, but nothing could have prepared you for the third day.

The third day, John relapsed and his body went into shock, the heart monitor was going haywire. It brought back the memory of your dying girlfriend, you started hyperventilating, the next thing you knew, you were being pulled out of the room by Aaron, you didn’t fight him.

“Calm down James, just breathe,” he settled you down in a chair, you were still panicking, “Breathe, just breathe, the doctors are doing what they can to help him, okay?”

You nod and slow your breathing down significantly enough to count as normal.

“I’m gonna get you some water, just keep breathing, I’ll be right back,” and he rushes off before you can stop him.

“Dammit, stay strong James, you promised yourself, you promised,” you mutter to yourself, fists clenched.

The heart monitor goes dead. Your mind goes blank, you can’t think, but you think you feel someone shaking your shoulder, you look up slowly. It’s Aaron, he’s saying something but you can’t hear him, only the dead heart monitor in the distance. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, ready to whisper apologies, when it beeps once again.

Your eyes flash open and your head snaps toward the door, the heart monitor beeps again and again and again until it’s an almost steady heartbeat, tears flow down your cheeks and you don’t bother to wipe them. Your boy is alive, he’s alive!

You get up from the chair too quickly and stagger toward the door, almost tripping but Aaron grabs you by the arm to steady you.

“Careful now,” he warns, and you regain your balance and take the few steps to the room.

A doctor comes out, the one from the operation room, and stops you in your tracks, he stares at you coldly.

“He’s fine for now,” he grumbled, pushing past you and making his way down the hall.

You gaze into the room and John is still injured but his heart is stable this time, _he’ll be okay_.

 

**~**

 

You didn’t want to leave John’s side, but Aaron urged you to take a break, so you did.

When you came back you heard crying from inside John’s hospital room, curious, you open the door and peer inside. There’s a boy with black unkempt hair in a bloodied hospital gown sobbing on the ground next to your son’s bed, when the door accidently bumps into the wall, it startles him. He stares up at you with big brown eyes, completely terrified, and practically flies out the room before you can say anything.

Later, Aaron tells you that some people think the boy is a ghost, you ask him _of who?_ He says the boy who was staying in the same room as John, you didn’t know he died, you feel sorry for him.

 

**~**

 

Months later, you’re checking John out of the hospital after regaining his health, and he doesn’t remember any of his hallucinations. He doesn’t remember the monsters or when he hurt himself, he doesn’t even remember what happened before the accident. You’re thankful he doesn’t.

He acts like a regular twelve year old boy and it makes you so happy, you don’t even have to give him up anymore. The CPS just dropped your case after the accident happened, you don’t even understand why, all you know is you got a phone call from a woman with a british accent telling you that they won’t be taking away your son. You never got another phone call from them again.

Aaron sees you and John off and John waves enthusiastically at him, smiling with all teeth showing. He waves back and you feel a little sad you won’t be seeing your friend as often, you silently promise to visit him with John occasionally.

You hail a taxi and you and John pile into the back seat, you tell your driver your address and head home.

 

 **\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------John**     

 

Your name is John Egbert and it’s been a couple of months since you left the hospital, you’ve been doing okay since then. Your dad made you go to therapy at first, which was pretty stupid because there was nothing wrong with you, not anymore you don’t think. They told you that you used to pretend to see monsters or something and you would hurt yourself, which is ridiculous, you would never purposely hurt yourself!

Of course you don’t go to therapy anymore cause you don’t do that kinda thing anymore, actually, you’d say you’re a pretty normal person. You think your dad is happier too, not that you can really remember a lot but you have the feeling he was really sad before you got better. He doesn’t talk about before that much either, so you guess it must’ve been pretty bad.

Still, sometimes you can’t help but be curious about what happened, so occasionally you’ll ask your dad about it, but he never tells you anything. You try not to ask about it too much because sometimes he looks like he might start crying when you push it, you feel really guilty when that happens. However, once in a blue moon (or whatever), you get little hints of an answer from your dad’s friend, Veldt (his real name is Aaron but you think his last name is way cooler), he’s not as guarded as dad and sometimes he lets things slip.

Although, most of the things he lets slip are completely useless or you already knew in the first place. It really doesn’t help at all.

Veldt works at the hospital you recovered in, he’s a nurse there, which you find a little funny because you normally only hear about female nurses in hospitals. Last month, when you were visiting him, you asked him if he wanted to become a doctor.

“Nah, being a doctor is way more responsibility on my shoulders, don’t really want it,” he answered casually.    

“But don’t people make fun of you for being a guy nurse?”

“Huh, I dunno, I never really paid attention to that kinda thing. I just wanted to, you know, help people,” he trailed off into a mumble.

Then your dad came in, “What are you two talking about now?” he asked and handed Veldt a coffee.

“Oh, John was just asking me if I planned on becoming a doctor,” Veldt took a sip of coffee.

“I believe we had a similar conversation about that topic not too long ago.”

“Yea, we did...well, have you thought about it?”

“Thought about what?” you interjected.

Veldt smiled brightly at you, “Well I suggested to your dad that he should go to college.”

“Why though? Isn’t college boring? I mean it’s just school, school’s supposed to be boring, right?”

They both laughed which left you confused, your dad answered first, ”Not necessarily John, college is a place to gain...experience.”

“And a degree,” Veldt added.

“Which will open many job opportunities-”

“And then you’ll probably be able to make more money.”

“Aaron, please,” your dad gave him the look.

“Do we need more money dad?” you asked.

“John...I just want to be able give you a stable life where I don’t have to worry about running out out of money for your future.”

“Well...maybe you should become a doctor then dad! I mean they get paid a lot, don’t they?” you asked, excited at the thought of your dad being a doctor.

“...maybe,” was all he said and the conversation was over.

Now, as of two weeks ago, you’re dad has been taking up college classes at a medical school, he goes in the mornings, and makes you volunteer at the hospital when he’s away. Most of the time you just hang around Veldt as he works and no one really minds you being there as long as you don’t get in the way. Sometimes you actually help out (like you’re supposed to) but you prefer to play around with the other patients, you don’t go to school (you never have), so it’s really fun to hang out with them.

Dad normally comes to pick you up around midday and sometimes he’ll take you to a restaurant to eat out before you both head home. He has a lot to study for but he always makes time to teach you your subjects, you’re a homeschooled kid (obviously) and you would ask your dad to put you in a public school to make it easier on him...but the thought of it scares you.   

Well not exactly scared, more like...it’s intimidating? You are actually really behind when it come to your education because of all those years you were uh hallucinating, along with your lack of memories, it really doesn’t help. So yeah, you have the right to feel pressured because what if you attended school and then the other kids found out you don’t know anything, they’d pick on you!

So no school for you, just homeschool with your dad, nothing wrong with that at all! You don’t feel lonely not hanging out with other kids your age, you’ve got dad and Veldt, you’re fine.

**You’ll be okay.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you found the hidden message ♥
> 
> sorry this was a pretty sad chapter, uh, it gets exciting in the next one, some action coming in


	8. This Is Why We Have Voices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its really late like 2 weeks late or something like that i'm sorry  
> 6000+ words though so um yea

You are feeling conflicted at the moment because it’s almost John’s thirteenth birthday. You want to celebrate it with him, you do, really, but you’re frightened of what this year will bring you. He’s better now so you shouldn’t be so afraid of something like this, nothing should happen, nothing _will_ happen.

But why do you feel this sense of dread clawing at the back of your mind?

 

**\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------John**

 

In a couple of days, it’s gonna be your birthday! You’ll be turning thirteen this year and it’s just so...exciting! You can’t wait cause you get to spend the entire day with your dad and you’ll probably get some really awesome birthday loot from him and Veldt.

Your dad hasn’t told you what you’ll be doing on your birthday but you just know it’s gonna be something special since he’s kept it a secret so long. You really hope it’s not some kinda Betty Crocker cake fest, that would just be...bluh. Not that you don’t appreciate your dad’s cooking, you just don’t like his cakes, for some reason you get the feeling that there’s pure evil in it.

Suddenly, there’s a knock at your bedroom door, “John?” your dad calls and the door opens.

“Yea dad?” you answer and sit up on your bed.

“I’m leaving for classes, do you want me to drop you off at the hospital or do you want to stay home for today?” he hangs by the doorway.

You feel a slight buzz coming on in your head, your vision blurs for a second and then it’s gone, you rub your forehead, confused.

“John?” he looks slightly concerned.

“Uh, I’ll stay here for today dad,” you yawn, “I don’ feel like goin’ anywhere.”

He smiles and walks over to sit next to you on your bed, “Alright, champ,” he ruffles your hair up and you laugh.

“Daaaaaad,” you whine and playfully push him away.

“Alright, alright,” he stops and looks at his watch, ”I better get going anyway, wouldn’t want to be late, would I?” he stands up.

“Nope.”

“Also, I already made you lunch for today, it’s in the fridge so all you have to do is-”

“Yeah, I know, dad, _heat it up in the microwave_ ,” you interrupt.

“And remember don’t put-”

“ _Any metal objects in when you heat up food_ , I know, I know. I’m not a little kid anymore, you know,” you huff.

“Yeah, I know,” he pushes the hair away from your forehead and kisses it gently, ”I’m proud of you, son.”  

You groan, annoyed, and push him away again, “Don’t you have class or something?” you grumble and try to fix your hair.

“Okay, I’m leaving,” he chuckles and heads toward the door.

“Bye dad.”

He leaves but pokes his head back in the doorframe less than a second later, “My cellphone is on vibrate but if something happens, don’t hesitate to call me, okay? I’ll be listening for it.”

You heave a sigh, ”Dad! You’re gonna be late! Just go, I’ll be fine, sheesh!”  

He shuts your door and you think you hear him laughing down the hall, your dad can be ridiculous sometimes ( _more like all the time_ ). Finally, you hear the apartment door open then close and you know he’s gone, you sigh with relief and lay down on your back.

Suddenly, you feel that buzzing from earlier come back except this time it feels as if it’s spreading throughout your body, you try to get up, to move, something, but you can’t. Your body is paralyzed, you’re pretty sure, and your heart races at the thought, you desperately wish your dad would come back.

The buzzing turns into something more painful as you try to resist it, it prickles and stabs at your conscious and you start to cry. You want to scream for help for somebody, anybody to come to your aid, but you only manage a, ”-elp. -ease.,” you cry harder and your vision blurs even more.

You feel something snap inside of you and you lose consciousness.

 

 **\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------James**   

 

You come home after long day of classes and even though it’s only mid day, you feel tired and consider a nap. You decide against it though because you are a grown man with too much work to get done to be napping during the day.

You set your briefcase on the kitchen counter and head down the hall to check on John. His bedroom door is still closed as you left it this morning, you notice, you call out to him, ”John?” and slowly open his door.

He’s sleeping soundly when you enter and his legs hang off the bed, he even forgot to take off his glasses before he fell asleep, you laugh silently and pad over to remove them. You place his glasses on the nightstand next to his bed and maneuver him so his head lays on the pillow and his body isn’t hanging off the bed, he doesn’t stir when you move him.  

You leave to work on your homework and study, you close the door behind you.

 

**~**

 

It’s now evening and you’re currently cooking dinner, you’re feeling a little lazy tonight so you’ve made spaghetti, which happens to be almost done. You stir the sauce one last time and turn off the burner, covering the pot with a lid, the pasta has been done for awhile, having already been strained and returned to it’s pot.

You decide it’s about time you wake John up, you actually should’ve woken him up hours ago but figured he’d probably wake up on his own, which he hasn’t, it makes you a little worried. You’re halfway down the hall when you hear a loud _thud_ come from John’s room, you run and open his door.

 

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------John**

 

When you wake up, you flail around and end up falling off your bed, you land with a _thud_ and a small _oof_. You groan in pain as you lay on the floor, you hear footsteps and then your door opening.

“John?” it’s your dad.

“I’m okay,” you manage and drag yourself up into a sitting position, you lean your head against the bed to recover.

“You sure, son? You don’t look okay to me,” he comes over and kneels next to you, he places a hand on your forehead, “Well, you don’t have a fever-”

You swat his hand away, “I’m fine, dad. I just fell off the bed, that’s all,” you grumble.

“Son, you don’t just-”

“ **Dad** ,” you emphasize, he stops talking, “Just leave it, ok? I’m fine.”

He gives you this really sad look and you instantly feel guilty, “Alright, John,” and he gets up to go, ”Dinner’s...ready by the way,” he says solemnly and exits.

You bury your face in your hands and sigh the deepest sigh in the history of the world. You are a terrible son, it is you. Your dad was just being a good dad by making sure you weren’t hurt and you just pushed him away like a jerk.

It’s not your fault, it’s not, really it isn’t, you had to, if he didn’t leave he would’ve found out! He would’ve picked and prodded at you until you told him what was wrong and then he would think you’re wrong, that there’s something wrong with _you_. You don’t want that, you don’t want that for him, he’s already been through this, you, you being ‘unstable’.

It’s all that dream’s fault, if you hadn’t dreamt that up then maybe, maybe, there is no maybe because you can’t even bring yourself to fully regret it. It was just so vivid and amazing, to just describe it would be just, oh gosh!

When the dream first started, you woke up in a bed but it wasn’t yours and you definitely weren’t in your room anymore because your room isn’t pale blue and, quite frankly, neither is your bed. The layout of the room itself was familiar but that’s just about it. It was a simple bedroom, really, nice queen sized bed, a white chest with yellow moons and stars on it, a nightstand with cake on it for some reason, a desk with a computer (you’ve never had a computer before!!), and two open pointed arched windows.

Gold light spilled in from the windows, providing you a source of light, curious, you had gotten up  and looked out the window next to your bed. A whole planet lay below you with buildings and pointed towers of complex, intricate architecture, possibly gothic or european, you think, oddly colored in shades of gold and violet. You actually don’t think there’s supposed to be any violet on the planet, it just didn’t look right to you. Below, you could barely make them out but you think you saw people?

At least they looked like they were people but their skin was either a pure milky white or a dark obsidian black, however, from your height, they might well had been moving  black and white dots.

You also found out you’re weren’t even on the planet, you were on some kind of smaller version of it, probably, which was literally chained to the bigger planet by, well, a giant chain! Your room was in a tower which appeared to be the largest building on the smaller planet, although, you could be wrong since you field of vision was limited.

There wasn’t a sky when you looked up, which was kinda disappointing, it was just a black abyss. If you had seen stars or something, you would’ve guessed it was night but...there just wasn’t anything!

For a long time, you just stared out the window looking down on the people below, watching what they did, where they went, which you guess sounds a bit creepy, but it’s not like you had a lot to do. You did get bored of it eventually and you didn’t have a way down either so you explored your blue room.

You checked out the computer first because you’ve never really used one before on your own, most of the time it was either your dad or Veldt on their computer/laptop and they never let you use it on your own before. Starting it up wasn’t difficult, you were more worried if there would be a password on it or not, which, thankfully, there wasn’t. After that, you just tried to learn how to use it, you tried internet, which connected but it didn’t look like ‘earth’ internet so you closed out of it, freaked out about what you might find and tried some other things.

Eventually, you found this chat client called Serious Business installed, but it didn’t look that interesting, just a bunch of people discussing articles of clothing. You ended up finding another,  more interesting, chat client, also already installed, which looked more appealing to use.

However, when you were thinking up a username, you started feeling sleepy and you passed out on the keyboard, which is when you woke up.

And then you panicked, fell, and hurt your dad’s feelings.

Sigh.

Your stomach grumbles and you look at your alarm clock on the nightstand, holy crap it’s late! It’s obvious you slept for a long time but not for half a day! You never even ate breakfast or lunch. Your brain and gut tell you that you need to eat, but going out there and facing dad just doesn’t seem like great idea.       

Come on, John, man up!

You get up, wobbly, and almost fall down again but catch yourself on the bed, you look out your open door.

Breath in. Breath out.

You hesitantly leave your room.

 

**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------James**

 

Tomorrow is John’s birthday, something you have started dreading more and more with each passing day, you wish you didn’t, it should be a day of celebration for your one and only son, but you can’t bring yourself to look forward to it.

After that little argument with John a couple days ago, he’s avoided you like the plague for reasons you’re not really sure, but it makes you really sad. You give him his space though, when you leave for classes, you leave him notes in the kitchen and on his door to remind him there’s food in the fridge or simply to give him words of encouragement. You tell him how you’re not mad at him, how you’re proud of him, how you always will be, how he’s growing up so fast, and you tell him you love him.

Sometimes he’ll leave notes in return, although, not as many as you did but it’s okay, you weren’t expecting him to respond in the first place. His notes don’t say much, just a ‘thanks’ or ‘I know’ and it may not be a lot but it means a lot to you that he’s communicating with you.

You just wish he would come out of his room and talk to you in person.

He sleeps a lot more too, you notice, like when you wake up early in the morning, you peek in his room and he’ll be sleeping, which isn’t surprising, but then you’ll leave for the day, come home, and check again and he’s still sleeping in the same position. You’re not sure if he’s pretending to do this or he really is just sleeping, but it’s worrisome.

Not sure what to do, you asked Aaron for some advice and he’s a good guy, really, he is, but sometimes he just doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He suggested dragging your son out of his room and taking him to the hospital for a check up, whether he wanted to or not. The oversleeping thing is a bit unusual but there’s no need to take him to the hospital for it!

He tried convincing you but you didn’t want to listen to such nonsense, although, he somehow managed to get you to agree to take him if his condition got worse, you don’t really know how John could get worse, he’s just sleeping to avoid you.  

You just want things to go back to normal.

 

**~**

 

Your alarm sounds, waking you from your slumber, you turn it off, get up and stretch your stiff limbs to get the sleep out. You stare out the window and the sun barely peeks out from behind the city buildings. It feels like today will be a long day, you really hope not.

You decide you’ll make breakfast and include many of John’s favorites and coffee, definitely some coffee, preferably black. You head to the bathroom first to wash your face and shave, you can practically feel the stubble coming in, you rub your jaw self consciously as you glance at your reflection in the mirror.

After you wash your face and shave, you grab a towel to dry your face off, the towel feels soft and fluffy in your hands, you bury your face in it. You sigh deeply into it and look up from it back at your reflection, your eyes carry dark bags under them and you feel older than you should.   

Should a thirty one year old feel like this? You don’t think so.

You throw the towel in the hamper and head out to the kitchen to cook.

 

**\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------John**

 

You really don’t want to get out of bed, you just don’t, no, but the sun is glaring at you from the window and you can smell something amazing cooking, like bacon, you are pretty sure that is bacon. Sweet jesus, yeah, that’s bacon you smell alright, you can hear it sizzle down the hall and you accidently drool on your pillow. You grumble at the realization and sit up in bed, you wipe your mouth with your sleeve to get rid of the excess drool. Gross.  

You yawn loudly and finally get out of bed, you happen to glance at your calendar on the wall, the thirteenth has a red smiley face with an obnoxiously pointy hat drawn on it. You grin with glee and throw your fists up in achievement because you, Jonathan Egbert, are officially thirteen today!

The loud clanging of metal breaks you from your victorious celebratory thoughts and turns your attention to what lies beyond your door. You remember your dad is cooking breakfast (most likely for you) and you want to go check if he’s okay but you don’t want to face him yet, you will, just later.

 

**~**

 

It’s been about an hour since you’ve woken up and you still haven’t left your room, your stomach grumbles, ashamed at your cowardice. You’ll leave now, you decide, you can’t hide forever, your dad probably isn’t even mad at you.

_But what if he still is?_

He’s not though! At least he shouldn’t be, he said he wasn’t in his notes and your dad wouldn’t lie to you like that...at least you don’t think he would.

You hear a door open and close in a hurry and you flinch, it wasn’t your door or the sound would’ve been closer, it sounded more like the front door. Why though? Did your dad leave?

You lay your ear against your door and listen, when you don’t hear anything, you quietly open your door and peek out into the hall. No one is in the hall or in the living room from what you can see so you step into the corridor, the floor is cold under your feet and it gives you the chills.

You shiver slightly and weakly call out, “Hey...uh dad?” you take slow, careful steps toward the living room.

“Dad? You there?” you try again, ”Helloooo? Daaad?”

No answer.

You reach the living room and look over at the kitchen, your dad isn’t there either, although, you can see several plates of food on the counters and a used frying pan still on the stove, showing obvious signs that he was there. You head into the kitchen to make sure the stove is off, which it is, you’re not surprised, your dad is a careful man.

There’s a note on the counter you happened to notice when you were putting the frying pan in the sink, the handwriting is your dad’s, albeit, sloppier than usual.

It reads: ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.'

And that’s it? You pick up the note and notice it smells like your dad’s after shave, all his notes do though, you inspect the back and there’s nothing else written. You throw the note down angrily and it flutters to the floor, you glare at it like it insulted you.

Where’s your dad? He didn’t leave, did he?

Your eyes start to water and you wipe at them with your sleeve, furiously, you will _not_ cry, not today.

“DAD!” you yell, no answer.

You stomp down the hall and throw open his door, he’s not inside when you look, you check the bathroom, not there, your closet, not there, the living room and he’s nowhere to be found. You collapse on the couch with your arm covering your eyes, you breathe in, shakily, and try to hold back more tears.

The usual dream buzz prods at your brain curiously as if to ask you if it’s okay yet, you’ve learned after a while it’s less painful to fight it, so you relax and let it envelop you.

You fall asleep.

 

**\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------James**

 

John was right. John was right! He was right all along and you treated him like he was crazy for so long but you remember, you remember what happened.

You were brutally murdered by a monster, you and a woman, John’s friend’s mother, Rose, you think, she was Rose’s mother, Ms. Lalonde. Oh god, Ms. Lalonde!

How could you have let something like that happen to the woman you love?

You could have protected her against that beast...no, no, it was inevitable, you had to die, something told you you had to.

_What? Who?_

You don’t know, you just don’t know.

Failure. You’re just a failure, you couldn’t protect Ms. Lalonde, you couldn’t stop your girlfriend from dying, you couldn’t even believe your own son when he needed you most. You’re still not there for him even now.

It’s his birthday and here you are wandering the streets, mumbling to yourself like a madman, you’re pathetic. You should be with him right now apologizing for all the things you’ve done wrong, but no, you’re son doesn’t even remember anymore, apologizing would mean nothing to him.

Wait.

He doesn’t remember, but who else does?

Are there others? Who else?

What if that monster still exists? Would he? He could be human now, what if he’s looking for you? What if he’s looking for John?

Your son was important to the game, you remember that, so what if they look for him?

You can’t let that happen, he’s powerless right now, he can’t even protect himself, he doesn’t remember.

You’ll protect him, you’ll protect your son, you promise.

 

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------John**

 

Maybe it’s a good time to explore out the tower this time, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?

Just how though? You purse your lips in thought, it’s a dream...right? So you should be able to do what you want...like flying! You could probably fly, it can’t be too hard...assuming this really is a dream. Of course it’s a dream! You glance out the window a little nervous, that’s a looong way down if this isn’t a dream.

Practicing first would probably be best, just imagine you can fly. You shut your eyes and think of...the wind, how it’s weightless and free and you imagine yourself that way. You feel you feet come up from the ground and you’re pretty sure you’re not touching it, you become giddy and open your eyes with excitement.

You’re floating above the ground, slightly tilted at an angle but hey it works! Now to actually fly or move, whatever! You allow yourself to drift toward the window and your nerves start acting up again when you see the outside.

Stop thinking about that! Just fly!

You make it out the window and you don’t fall to your death, thankfully, you also confirm that your tower is, in fact, the largest structure on the smaller planet. You hear a commotion going on below you and you look down, the black and white dots/people are clustering together, you think some of them are pointing at you.

You drift down slowly to get a better look of them, when you’re close enough you see they’re not exactly human, although, very similar. As you’ve noted before, their skin comes in only one of two colors, black or white, there are no mixed colored, also, their skin doesn’t look like human skin, more like the metal of a suit of armor, except glossier. Their limbs are jointed in a way that reminds you of dolls or those weird stringed up puppets and their faces look like a human, however, show no facial lines making it hard for you to tell how old they are.

A tall, white woman comes out from one the buildings, she is wearing a simple white dress, a crown rests upon her head, her posture is straight and her steps are graceful and precise. The people around her kneel and bow their heads as she passes, her eyes are trained on you and you only float above, unsure of what to do at this point.

She stops when she is in front of you, ”Are you the heir?” she asks and her voice echos even though she isn’t particularly loud.

You have no idea what she’s talking about, you don’t know who this ‘heir’ is but there’s no way it’s you.

“No? I don’t think so?” you answer, although, it sounds more like another question.

“You don’t know?”

“Uh...no, sorry, I don’t. I just woke up from that tower up there,” you point to it, ”one day and I only just now came out.”

“I see,” she seems to ponder about it and it’s just so quiet, it makes you nervous.

“You have a beautiful city by the way!” you exclaim, a bit overly enthusiastic.

She gives you an elegant smile, ”Thank you, I’m glad you think that way.”

You fly closer to her until you’re floating in front of her, face to face, she studies you curiously. You give her an exaggerated bow and give her a big smile, teeth showing and everything, you start to introduce yourself, “Hi! I dunno about your ‘heir’ but I’m-,” you are cut off by the darkening of your vision and you know you’re about to wake up.

The woman looks at you with concern as you start to totter midair, your eyes flutter shut and you feel yourself falling. Multiple arms grab at you as you black out, you hear the woman coo, “It’s okay, we’ve got you,” and you wake up.

 

**~**

 

It’s been a week since your birthday and even though you don’t see your dad a whole lot, even you can tell he’s been acting...weird.

He orders out a lot more rather than cooking, his paperwork is left all over the living room, the dishes don’t get done as often and sometimes you have to do them yourself. His laundry has piled up, and the time you did see him, he had a full on beard growing. You think his beard was what shocked you the most.

Your dad loves shaving, you don’t think there’s a morning where he doesn’t break out the razor and shaving cream, and until you saw him, you couldn’t even fathom seeing him with facial hair.

He still writes you notes, actually, he writes even more notes than before, if that was even possible, sometimes he hides them in places you wouldn’t normally expect. Like under the couch or in the freezer, just places you wouldn’t look for a note, you find it strange.

The front door slams, breaking you from your thoughts.

“John!” your dad calls, he sounds urgent.

You peek out your door and call back, ”Yeah dad?”

He locks eyes with you from the living room, and oh god, he still has a beard, you cringe at the sight of it. He holds up some papers and gestures for you to follow, you reluctantly do so and head to the living room.

You reach him, still confused about what’s going on, he just sets the papers on the coffee table and sits down on the couch.

“Uh, dad? What’s up? Something wrong?” you ask.

“Come sit son, I have something to tell you,” he pats to the spot next to him.

You shuffle over and nervously sit down, you glance over at the papers on the table.

“John,” you head snaps up to look at him, ”now I know this is sudden but...we’re changing our names.”

_...What?_

“What?”

“I’m sorry, but from today onward we have different names, son.”

“Wait, what? I don’t-why?” you fumble with your words, flabbergasted.

“My name will be Jay Bergett and you,” he shuffles the papers, ”will be Nathan Bergett, okay?”

“No! Not okay, dad! I don’t understand, why do we have to change our names?” you yell.

“Jo- Nathan, yelling doesn’t help the situation,” his expression is blank as he gathers up the papers and rises from the couch, ”the reason doesn’t matter, just accept it.”

“Dad, **please** , just tell me,” you beg.

His body stops just as he’s turning away from you, you’re both silent for a few moments before he replies, “Someone is looking for us, someone....dangerous.”

“Who?”

He doesn’t answer you and walks down the hall, you hear his door shut and you are left with more questions than answers.

 

~

 

It’s been another week since and your situation has completely switched, now instead of you avoiding your dad, it’s the other way around. Whenever you try to talk to him he tells you he’s busy and escapes to his bedroom or just plain leaves. He doesn’t even bother asking you if you’d rather go to the hospital or stay home anymore when he goes to classes, meaning you haven’t left the apartment in weeks.

You still sleep a lot or at least you try to, but since your birthday you haven’t been pulled to the dream world, which makes sleeping...less exciting. Especially now, you’d rather hang out with those people than be stuck with your dad’s stressful tension, they’d be a lot better company than him.

 

~

 

You’ve decided you’ll keep the new name your dad has given you, not that you really have a choice. The only reason you’re accepting it is because you are hoping that your dad will talk to you again once you tell him (through note) that you don’t mind the name thing.

So you will be Nathan....Nate, you will be Nate Bergett...why Bergett? Sounds like baggett, why does our last name always have to have food in it?

This is a terrible idea.

 

~

 

There has been no change in you and your dad’s relationship, in fact, he’s out of the apartment more often than he has to be...maybe he hates you.

But his notes say he loves you.

You don’t know what to think anymore.    

 

~

 

You enter the dream world finally after almost a month without it, the buzzing came unexpectedly in the middle of the day when your dad was out, again.  

Your eyes open and you’re in your blue room, cozily tucked in bed, when you try to move, your limbs are strangely stiff. You stretch slowly to get the stiffness out of your body and you notice you’re wearing comfy, bright gold pajamas, you have no idea how you got into these.

You hear someone cough in your room and you turn you head to look at them, it’s the tall woman you met last time sitting in your desk chair. She gives you a small smile and stands, “I’m glad to see you’re finally awake. You were asleep for so long we were all worried you wouldn’t wake up.”

“We?” you ask, confused.

“Yes, the citizens were worried when you suddenly passed out mid air, you’re lucky they caught you before you fell.”

“Oh! Hehe, I guess so. I should probably thank them for that later,” you laugh awkwardly, “Oh yeah! We still haven’t introduced ourselves yet, since it was kinda...cut short.”

“Yes, I suppose so. I am the White Queen, however, you may call me WQ for short.”

“Ooo so you’re the queen, I mean it’s not surprising with your crown,” you point at it but quickly put your hand down because that’s pretty rude, “Anyway! My name is J....Nathan, my name is Nathan...Bergett. Uh, but call me Nate!”

“It’s a pleasure Nate,” she bows her head.

“Likewise,” you copy her and bow your head too.

She raises her head, ”Well not that the pleasantries are out of the way, would you like to see the city?”

“Heck yeah!” you say, extremely excited.

 

~

 

It’s been several weeks since you were able to access the dream world again and given a tour of the city, which you found out is called _the Kingdom_. The queen explained to you the the city used to have two different names, both of which were thrown out due to conflict with the citizens.

You go to the dream world more often now that you can go to it again, you’ve learned that you have to be in your dream bed to wake up in the dream world. You know this from WQ because she told you that you only woke up when they finally moved you back into the tower after you were asleep for so long. It’s become a normal procedure for you and even if you don’t make it to the tower in time, you know that the citizens don’t mind taking you there when you fall asleep.

Most of the citizens of the Kingdom are really nice people, you’ve even made a couple of friends, which is a first if you don’t count the children at the hospital.

One of them is WV, although, you don’t know what the initials means, however, he does tell you he prefers to be called the Mayor, you think it’s fitting. He likes making a town out of cans, which is weird but he’s really creative with it, he holds democratic voting among you and your other friends to elect a mayor. He wins the election every time it’s held but then again there’s no other campaigner to vote for so he is always mayor.

There’s also PM, or the Parcel Mistress, who delivers most of the mail around the city, she doesn’t talk to you much, but she talks to the queen a lot, so when you’re there, she’s nice to you. For a mailwoman, she’s good with a sword, you only know this because one time, she was carrying an important package and someone tried to kill her for it, she responded by pulling a blade out of her carrying bag and fighting back. She won fairly quick and the assassin was sent to jail with several injuries, your admiration for her went up several thousand points, and you also know you will never seriously piss her off, ever.

Ms. Paint is also sorta your friend, she’s really nice but most of the time she feels more like a mother figure, so you don’t know if she really counts. She’s usually found serving the queen, which is why you see her a lot when you visit WQ. Strangely enough, she’s always carrying around a can of paint, you’ve asked her why before but she only gave you a vague answer, so you still don’t know why.

And then there’s the queen, who’s obviously your friend! She rules the city alone because her husband, the king, died years ago. She said that back then there used to be many riots that almost lead to a full scale war, the king happened to get in the crossfire of it. The city has been mostly peaceful since, but she always looks really sad when she talks about the king, you don’t like it because it reminds you of when you dad would think about your mom you never knew.

You like trying to make the queen laugh when she thinks about depressing things, you tell her jokes, do little magic tricks, and pull some funny pranks on the other citizens. Sometimes it works, she’ll smile or give a small chuckle, but you’ve never succeeded in making her burst out laughing, you want to try.

She likes teaching you about the city when she’s not busy with her own work, she encourages free will and never forces you to stay for her lessons. Most of her lessons are interesting, definitely better than your human lessons, you don’t even bother with your human work anymore.

You don’t bother with the real world anymore at all actually, there’s nothing for you there.

You don’t have any real friends, you don’t go to school, you don’t have anyone to talk to, and your own dad doesn’t even bother with you anymore. Those notes he leaves you doesn’t mean anything, he’s just a liar.  

 

**~**

 

You don’t want to wake up anymore, you want to stay in the dream world because that’s where you belong now. You’ve been here long enough, you’re basically a citizen of the Kingdom, so no, you’re never waking up again, you belong here.

You left a note for your dad before you went to sleep this time, it’ll be just like his note he left on your birthday.

‘GOODBYE.’

 

**\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------James**

 

This is all your fault because you were so obsessed with protecting your son, you never even tried to treasure him.      

And now he’s like **this**.

You’re at the hospital, again, for reasons you’d rather not be there for.

Like your son falling into a coma.

You were warned about this but you didn’t listen because you’re still a stubborn, idiotic man. You kept ignoring your son thinking he was still mad at you anyway, he probably still is, but you should’ve tried to talk to him.

Not through your useless notes but in person, through verbally communicating with each other, but you couldn’t even do that tiny little thing.

The doctors don’t even know why he’s in a coma, there’s nothing wrong with him apparently, all tests have been coming back negative, he just won’t wake up. They don’t know why, but you do.

He doesn’t want to wake up.

That’s why he said goodbye.

This is what you deserve.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh john no stop
> 
> i'll be honest, i'm really trying to get past the past of this story so i can surprise you all and get to the cute stuff  
> i just really wanna write cute stuff (∩︵∩ )
> 
> also i'm not totally sure when i'll be able to write, i'm about to get busy with things but i'll try my best to get the next chapter  
> hopefully in the next chapter i'll be able to finish up the past and finally get back to the present 
> 
> i'm sorry this chapter is pretty uh moody? sad? i dunno what word, anyway, thank you for reading ♥


	9. You Were Born To Lead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i was gone for awhile but here 6200+ word chapter for you all  
> a lot happens in this chapter plus new tags so beware i suppose ??  
> haha enjoy ( ・◇・)

“What are you gonna do now?”

“...”

“James!”

You ignore him and brush away the hair from your son’s forehead, he doesn’t stir from your touch. You feel a hand on your shoulder and you look up with a blank expression.

“James, you just keep sitting here doing nothing for yourself-”

“Aaron, everything I’ve been doing up until now has been for myself, I just never realized it,” he lets go of your shoulder.

“What the hell are you talking about? Fuck, you don’t do anything for yourself, anything you do revolves around your son, you don’t have hobbies, you always turn down dates from beautiful women, and the only time you even considered going on a date with a girl, you asked me if I thought John would like a mother figure in his life! So don’t even tell me everything you’ve done has been for just yourself!” Aaron yells at you, face red with frustration.

You turn back to your son again, he hasn’t even twitched at the sound of Aaron yelling, you sigh deeply and rest your face in your hands.

“Didn’t you say you were gonna become a doctor for him?” he asks, voice lower but still tense, “That’s why you agreed to go to college, wasn’t it?”

When you don’t answer, he continues, ”They’ll kick you out James, there’s only so many days you can call out.”

“...”   

“Why do you keep acting like it’s your fault?”

You visibly flinch and keep your face buried in your hands as if they could provide you some kind of protection, you wish he would stop talking.

“...wait. Is it your fault? There’s no way...James, James, answer me!”

You snap your head up to glare at him furiously. He opens his mouth to say something but you cut him off, “Mr. Veldt, please just shut the fuck up,” your tone is harsh and seething, you’ve had enough of this annoying interrogation. He glares but he keeps quiet, you dislike getting angry or even plain cursing but there’s only so much you can take before snapping.

You turn away again.

“He’d be disappointed.”

“I’m sure he already is,” you say, keeping your focus on John.

“...he doesn’t have to be.”

You place your hand over John’s, “I know.”

 

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------John**

 

It’s been exactly two weeks since you’ve stayed asleep, you haven’t been counting the days or anything, no, certainly not, you don’t feel regretful at all, nope. You don’t even know how you’ve stayed asleep this long to be honest, you know you wanted to stay in the dream world but you didn’t think _wanting_ it would make it work.

Some dreams just come true you guess, haha.

You’re just not sure if this really what you want anymore.

Maybe you should go back.

 

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------James**

 

“So you went back?”

You set your briefcase on the ground next to John’s bed and seat yourself in the metal chair with a grunt.

“How was it?”

“I’m surprised they’re still allowing me to attend after being absent for almost two weeks. Apparently, someone called in for me saying I had a legitimate excuse for being gone for so long,” you answer.

“But isn’t your son going into a coma a legitimate excuse?”

“Yes, but that’s not the point-”

“Then wha-”

“Aaron, please, stop interrupting me,” he frowns, you continue, “The point is I have no clue who called in for me. I tried asking the front desk to give me the number or at least a name of some sort as to who called in but they refused, saying it was private.”

“Well that’s pretty weird, but at least you’re covered.”

“I know but…it worries me. No one knows about John and his current condition other than you, me, and his doctor so I don’t understand who would’ve called,” you rub your chin in thought.

“You don’t have any other friends you could’ve mentioned this about?”

“Quite frankly, you’re the only real friend I’ve got.”

“...What about family?”

“I haven’t seen or spoken to my family since John was born.”

“Yea, I know, but you never told me why.”

Your silent for a moment and then whisper under your breath, “Because I’m ashamed.”

“What?”

You speak up, ”I’m ashamed.”

He looks at you confused. “Of who?”

“Me, of course.”

“Why would you-”

“Because I got the woman I loved pregnant and she died giving birth, okay? She died and I called her parents to tell them she was dead and it was **my** fault. I never even told my parents, let alone my own brother, that she was even pregnant to begin with. I was only seventeen at the time and I was just terrified and I made brash, irresponsible decisions that I regret to this day,” your fists are clenched and your whole body shakes at the threat of breaking down again.

You don’t like remembering the past, it hurts to even think about it.

Aaron puts a hand on your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. “It wasn’t your fault, James, she didn’t die because of you, it’s no one’s fault.”

You stare down at the floor and shake your head.

“...you should try and contact your parents.”

“I can’t. They’ve probably never forgiven me.”

“Because there’s nothing to forgive, you didn’t do anything wrong!”

“I- please just stop. I’m not changing my mind about this.” you rub your chin nervously, ”I-I’ll...contact them when John wakes up.”

He gives you a small smile and looks over at John.

“Hurry and wake up John, we’re waiting for you.”

 

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------John**

 

You can’t go back. You can’t wake up anymore. You’ve tried, you have, you tried so many ways to wake up but none of them worked.

You’ve been stuck in the dream world for a year now and even though you enjoy the company of your friends and the carapaces, you really just want to see your dad again. You don’t care if he doesn’t love you anymore or that he’s a liar or any sort of stupid reason your brain comes up with, you just wanna see your dad.

“Nate?”

You turn away from the window and look over at the door, the queen stands in the doorway and you bow your head slightly to greet her.

“Hello,” you lift your head, “you need something?”

She studies you quietly for a moment before she speaks in a low tone, “Does it still not work?”

“Um, no, not yet,” you force a laugh, “it has to work sometime, I’m probably just going about it wrong, I’m sure I’ll find the answer soon.”

“...it’s been a year.”

“Okay? So? I just have to keep trying, if I quit now, I’ll never wake up.”

She gives you a smile but you can see the pity in her eyes, you grimace and turn back towards the window you were staring out. You can see your dream tower from here, shining solid gold on the Kingdom’s moon, your only hope of returning.

The next thing you know you see a red crackle of electricity surround the tower and it turns pixelated like a glitched video game. Just as you’re about to react, the pixels flicker multiple colors and the tower vanishes right before your eyes. Your jaw drops and your body shakes violently, you grip the edge of the window for support.

“Nate? Nathan?” you hear her footsteps as she comes closer, you refuse to look away, hoping, no, willing it will reappear.

She gasps and the next thing you know she’s prying your death grip from the window and pulling you into an embrace. You shouldn’t cry but you can’t stop the tears from flooding down your cheeks and the snot running out your nose as your arms latch on to the queen. She coos and runs a hand through your hair to calm you down, a faint thought appears in your head that this must be what having a mother is like.

 _You will never see your father again._     

You tighten your grip and sob harder.

 

**\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------James**

 

“How are you holding up?”

“Well enough.”

“Have you been eating?”

“Yes.”

“...really?"

“I’m studying to be a doctor, if I can’t even keep myself healthy, then I might as well quit while I’m at it.”

“...it’s been a year.”

“I know.”

“The doctor says there hasn’t been any change.”

“I know.”

He sighs. “Jame-”

“It’s Jay now,” you snap but cough in your hand to excuse yourself, you need to stop with this temper of yours.

Aaron doesn’t reply and you look over to see he’s already left the room.

 

**\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------John**

 

“No, not like that. Like _this_ ,” she demonstrates for the fifty thousandth time.

You groan and drop your sword, it hits the ground with a loud _clang_. “PM, I don’t think I’m suited for a sword.”

“How can you even say that? You’ve barely even tried,” she looks exasperated.

“We’ve been at this for **days**! Can’t I try a different weapon or something?”

PM sighs. “Like what?”

You bite your lip and think.

_What would suit you?_

Your mind turns up blank, welp.

“Can’t I just try out a bunch of different weapons and see which one I like best?” you whine.

“That sounds like a pleasant idea,” the voice comes from behind you, you turn around.

“Oh!” you bow your head in the presence of the queen, PM does the same.

“Nate, you know you don’t have to do that anymore,” she lightly scolds.

You lift your head, “Oh yeah, hehe.”

PM lifts her head and addresses the queen, “Your Highness, might I ask what you’re here for?”

She smiles at PM, “I heard about the combat lessons you were giving Nate and I came to see his progress.”

You and PM glance at each other anxiously.

“I see, not much progress then?”

You stare down at the ground, somewhat ashamed.

She lifts your chin with a finger and smiles at you, “Come now, I’ll show you to the armoury.”   

You nod, somewhat stupidly, and follow her as she cuts through the courtyard with a brisk yet measured pace.

 

You find out the armoury is very large, this being your first visit here despite living in the Kingdom for over a year.

“Wow,” you say, dumbstruck.

“Anything catch your eye?” the queen asks.

You examine the weapons along the wall, on the floor, in the cases, and in the boxes but nothing really stands out to you. You’re about to tell the queen this when a green flicker of light appears in the the corner of your eye, your head snaps in it’s direction.

A bright colorful hammer rests on the wall and you wonder why you didn’t see it there before, you approach it to examine it up close.

You must’ve been staring at it for too long because the next thing you know the queen is beside you, examining at the hammer too.

“What do you suppose the ‘Z’ stands for?”

“What?” you ask, startled.

She points to it and a large black **Z** stands out against the yellow surface of the hammer.

“I...dunno, seems familiar though,” you cross your arms and bite your lip in thought.

“Does it? How so?” she stares at you, eyes wide.

You shift your weight to your other leg. “Uh. I dunno, it just looks familiar?”

Disappointment shines clear in her dark eyes, you look back at the hammer, “Why?” you ask.

“...no reason, just curious. So is this your weapon choice?”

You reach for the hammer and extract it from the wall, it’s strangely not super heavy, in fact it’s pretty light for a war hammer, maybe it’s actually a toy? You test the weight in one hand and throw it to your other hand, then clench the handle with both hands and position yourself like that baseball batter you saw on tv once.

The queen steps away, cautiously, not that you would ever hurt her.

“Can I test it?” you ask excitedly.

She smiles but backs away more, probably to give you more room, “Go ahead,” she nods.

You give her a giant smile and go for the first swing.

The next thing you know there’s a loud crash and a hole in the wall in front of you, the hammer no longer in your hands.

 _Oops_.

 

**~**

 

You snicker from behind the column, eyeing your next target. A beefy dersite guard trudges into the room unsuspectingly and you have to bite your lip to keep yourself from laughing.

 _Just a few more steps_.

The guard falls through the floor but gets stuck halfway and you practically die on the floor laughing at him. You can’t believe how well that worked!

The dersite curses loudly and calls for help, other carapaces rush in to give him aid by attempting to pull him out. It doesn’t work, you curl up into fetal position and proceed to laugh your ass off _again_.      

 

**~**

 

“I’m just saying I think you should discipline him more, you’ve been spoiling him ever since he got here, and his pranks have only gotten worse.”

“No one was-”

“My Queen, I’m sorry, but that boy has caused so much trouble, the carapaces don’t enjoy his ‘little’ pranks however harmless he makes them out to be. There are five injured in the infirmary and even if they’re not serious injuries, that fact is they were **hurt**.”

Silence.

You walk away, you don’t want to hear the rest.

 

~

 

“Nate?” she knocks at your door.

“Leave me alone.”

“...Nate, it’s been weeks since you’ve left your room.”

“I don’t care,” you pout.

“Will you at least tell me what’s wrong? You don’t have to open the door, just talk to me, please?”

You almost cave in, almost.

“Are you disappointed in me?” you blurt out. _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!_

“...What? No, of course not, Nate! What on earth gave you that idea?”

“Really?” you ignore her question.

“Positive. I wouldn’t lie to you Nathan.”

You cringe, but remind yourself it’s not her fault, she doesn’t know.

You want to believe her, you want to believe she wouldn’t lie to you, you want to let her in.

You open the door.

 

~

 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” the crowd roars.

You smile brightly and wave to the carapaces below until you feel a hand on your shoulder, you turn your head and the queen stands behind you with a smile of her own. She offers you a hug, which you gladly accept.

“Congratulations on turning fifteen,” she pulls from the hug but keeps her hands rested upon your shoulders, she looks at you with a proud expression, “You’ve grown so much within the past year.”

You smile sheepishly, clearly embarrassed, “Yeah, that growth spurt really threw me off! I’m pretty sure I’m your height now too hehe.”

“You didn’t just grow physically, you’ve become a better person, I’m proud,” her expression intensifies and you tear up.

You angle your head up to control your tears, your vision blurs as you move your glasses away and you rub your eyes to get rid of the moisture build up, you hear the queen give a small laugh, probably at you. You shift your glasses back into place and blink...and again, and again because _what the hell is that?_

 _Plip._  A drop of black liquid lands on your glasses and runs down the lense...ink?

 _Plip plip plip._ More ink, you attempt to smear it away, it doesn’t really work.

There’s a loud scream that cuts through your thoughts and you look away from the sky towards the crowd. There are splashes of red among the sea of black and white and you feel your vision blur despite your glasses, your stomach churns, you want to puke.

“NATE!” someone calls you and suddenly your hammer is being pushed into your hands, you flinch and almost drop it.

“COME ON!” they yell and you refocus on what’s happening.

Jet black monsters dripping ink trudge below, their vile liquid stains the kingdom and attacks the carapaces with no mercy. There is a cry for help and you see a prospitian cornered by one of the monsters, you rush to save him with your hammer tightly held and positioned to attack. But the monster is faster than you thought and brings his large, dripping arm down on the prospitian with a sickening _crack_.

You pause mid air, with your hammer lowered, staring horrified. The monster lifts his arm languidly to reveal a splatter of red and black, it turns to you, it’s face is literally a mask, one half smiles while the other frowns. You are scared beyond belief.

It’s blob of a body shifts and a hole appears on it’s side, it looks like a mouth, it grins and razor sharp teeth glints through the ink. It’s mouth opens and lets out a thundering roar, it hurts your ears.      

 _Kill it._  You can’t, you can’t move, you’re too terrified. _Kill it!_

_Kill it! Kill it! Kill It! Kill It! KILL IT! **KILL IT!**_

The monster shifts and several new arms form from it’s body and raises itself up from the ground and begin walking on it’s hands. It’s awkward at first as you stare on, it wobbles and totters, struggling to find balance like a baby learning to walk for the first time. It adapts within seconds and before you realize it it’s scuttling toward you at high speed as if it were a spider going in for it’s kill. It is, the kill being _you_.

**_KILL IT!_**

“NATE FUCKING KILL IT!”

It gets closer and closer and lunges for you, you give a loud battle cry and swing your hammer down on it.

**_SPLAT._ **

 

**~**

 

“Nate?” someone touches your shoulder and you flinch hard but calm down when you see it’s just the queen.

“Ah. Hello,” you nod and give her a tired smile.

“You should get some rest, you look like you’re half dead, dear,” she chides.

“No, not yet, I’m keeping watch. I mean, what if they attack again while I’m sleeping?”

“Nate, I’m sure they won’t attack-”

“No, they will and they did. They attacked on my birthday and again less than a week after, so what makes you so sure they won’t attack again?”

Her expression hardens and she gives you a stony look. “You’re right, I don’t know, I’m not sure they won’t attack again but what use will you be if you are weakened from exhaustion? None, because you would die and that would be it, you would be slaughtered by them and I’m only telling you this because **I Do Not** , under any circumstance, want that to happen to you, understood?”

You gulp and hold your tongue.

“Understood?” she repeats, tone harsher.

“YES!” you accidently yell.

She smiles like she’s won, who are you kidding, of course she won. “Alright, now go get some rest. My carapaces are not so weak that they have to rely on you to protect them, so get going,” she turns and leaves without another word.

You head to your room for a nap.   

You are pathetic.

 

**~**

  

“A group of five has been spotted in the southern district, Your Highness,” a guard reports, head bowed low in the presence of the queen.

“Gather squads three and six to dispose of them immediately,” the queen commands.

The guard hesitates, “Um. Squad three is still recovering from the last attack.”

“I’ll go!” you interject.

“No, Nate, you’ll stay here, there are still more topics I have to discuss with you,” the queen tells you and you visibly pout, she turns back to the guard, “What about squad four?”

“Squad four is fine and ready to go,” he answers.

“Perfect,” she smiles at him, “You are dismissed.”

He salutes and exits.

You open your mouth to complain but the queen cuts you off, “Nate, do you know why I didn’t let you go this time?”

“No, I don’t know why, I’m stronger and more capable of killing those disgusting monsters than most of your squads. I practice with PM everyday and work hard to improve myself so I can fight them and yet you won’t let me!”

“Nate, one day you will become an exceptionally strong leader and as a leader you need to know that you cannot do everything by yourself. You will have people below you, protecting you, supporting _you_ and your decisions so you mustn't be rash to do things that could easily get you killed.”

“So what? Do I just let them die?!”

“No! You need to trust them as they trust **you**. They will be putting their lives on the line not only for the sake of you but the Kingdom and as their leader, you have no choice but to command them and lead them to victory. That is what they are counting on and that is what they will expect from your leadership, to win.”

“But I’m not a leader! I just want to protect them...and you,” you look down, embarrassed.

She rises from her throne and pulls you into a warm hug, you’ve grown a bit taller these past few months, making you taller than her, you hug back and she rests her head on your shoulder.   

“I know you want to,” she whispers in a soft voice, “but one day you’ll understand you can’t protect everything,” her grip on you tightens, you remain silent.

_You hope you don’t ever understand._

 

**~**

 

You dodge to the side and take a swing with your hammer, she blocks with her sword and you add pressure in attempt to overpower her, she does not relent. A door opens somewhere and your concentration brakes, PM takes advantage of this and kicks you hard in the stomach, you fall on your ass.

You groan on the ground until there is a hand held out to you in front of your face, PM smirks above you, you grasp her hand and she pulls you up. You stand and dust yourself off, “Thanks,” you say.

“No problem, but we really need to work on your concentration skills,” she frowns.

You sigh and someone behind you pats your back, you turn and the queen and the mayor are there. You smile instantly, you can’t help it.

“Happy Birthday Nate,” the queen says.

You blink confused, “Has it really been another year?” you ask.

The mayor nods vigorously and gives you a smile.

“Oh,” is all you can say because what else is there to be said?

“I see you’ve been working hard and making effort, you too PM, thank you,” the queen mentions and PM lowers her head, abashed.

“It’s been no problem at all, Your Highness. Nate’s really improved a lot since he started, almost as good as me, almost,” PM grins at you, you smile back.

The mayor pushes you away and grabs PM’s hand, dragging her away, it’s funny because he’s so short compared to her that she almost trips several times as they leave. You and the queen break out into laughter, this birthday isn’t so bad.

 

**~**

 

“Nate. Nate, wake up, you fell asleep during my lesson. Nate.”

A sigh. You are too far gone to wake up.

“ _John_ ,” you think you hear, but you’re already asleep.

 

**~**

 

“Happy seventeenth,” the queen greets as she enters your room holding a tray of fresh food.

You give a long yawn and stretch your limbs as the queen settles in the chair next to your bed, the tray sits on her lap. You inspect the food on the tray expecting it to be the normal grub you get everyday, surprisingly, it’s not. There’s a plate with a thick stack of steaming pancakes, a slice of butter melts on top and a saucer of syrup rests beside the plate.

An “Oh my god” escapes your lips and you have to keep yourself from drooling, you cannot help yourself, you haven’t seen pancakes since-

You sober up and look away.

“Nate dear, aren’t you going to eat?” she asks.

You look back at the tempting stack of pancakes and your stomach grumbles, the queen gives a short laugh and hands you the tray. You take it from her and balance it on your lap in bed, you stare at it nervously, then glance at the queen, she smile encouragingly, and you look back.

“Um,” how do you put this?

“Is something wrong?”

“Do you-do you mind letting me eat alone?” you ask, hesitantly.

“Oh...sure dear,” she sounds a bit hurt but she gets up and leaves the room.

You pick up the saucer of syrup and pour it over the pancakes, covering it with the sticky reddish brown liquid which pools at the bottom of the plate. You take your fork from the tray and cut into the stack, you stab your cut piece and shove it into your mouth.

You chew and tears fall down your face at rapid speed, effectively wetting your shirt, you force yourself to swallow your food, although, it’s hard going down your throat, you somehow manage before the hiccuping sets in. It’s harsh and it hurts your chest and the tears burn your eyes and god you haven’t cried like this in so long and it just hurts so much.

When you finish your tear fest, your pancakes have already grown cold but you don’t care, you eat all of them and even lick the syrup off the plate.

You are not taking something like this for granted.  

 

**~**

 

“Hey, WQ?”

“Yes?” she answers.

“Who, uh, who made those pancakes?”

“Pancakes?"

“Yeah, you know the breakfast you brought me on my birthday?”

“Oh. I believe it was the new royal cook, a prospitian, she came not too long ago but I enjoy her dishes, they always have some sort of kick to it.”

“Kick?”

“I believe she uses spices? Although, I’m not exactly experienced in the culinary arts or so.”

“So...it’s spicy?”

“Yes? It’s good you should try her corn triangles and spicy tomato sauce, it’s very tasty.”

“...chips and salsa?”

“Is that what it’s called?”

“Probably.”

 

~

 

You burst into the royal kitchen after eating the most delicious beef burrito for dinner demanding the chef who made it. The carapaces freeze, shocked by your sudden appearance and loud entrance, a prospitian steps forward, she is much shorter than you. You stare down at her, “Were you the one who made my burrito?” you sound ridiculous but she looks up at you, nervously, eyes wide. She nods.

Your face breaks into a giant grin and you scoop her up into a quick hug and settle her back down, she looks dazed and you laugh.

“Sorry, I just got really excited because I really like your food and it reminds me of home which makes me a little sad, but thank you for making awesome food!”

She seems to snap out of it then and gives you a wide smile. “No, thank you,” she says, but it sounds weird, like she has an accent, you’ve only met a hand full of carapaces who had an accent.

“Where’d you learn to cook?” you ask, curious.

She gives you a confused look, “I do not know, it just came.”

You furrow your brows. “What came?”

“The recipes, they just came into my head one day. I am a farmer but suddenly know how to cook, it is strange but I do not complain, I like my new job.”

“So you just suddenly had recipes pop into your head and you could cook? That’s it?”

Her mouth twists into a frown. “No, there were other things...like memories? But I do not understand them very well and they hurt my head to think about.”

_That’s weird._

“Oh. So what’s your name?”

“AN,” she answers automatically.

“No, I mean your full name or title thing.”

A pause. “I do not know, it is just AN, that is all I remember.”

 

**~**

 

“Our defenses have improved tremendously within the past two years and I’m proud to say that those monsters have almost no way of breaking our formation at this point. Our soldiers have been training and getting stronger, there have been very few casualties recently because of their hard work and dedication. So I am here to tell you all I am honored to be leading a kingdom as glorious as ours. In the future, I hope we will be able to find the source of these beasts and exterminate them for good, but for now, we must stay on our toes about all this business and keep on guard for what’s to come. Thank you.”

She bows her head to the crowd and they erupt into a tremendous roar of clapping and cheering. We are fighting back, we will win.

_But for how long?_

 

**~**

 

You hear an explosion outside the throne room and you all turn toward the open balcony, startled.

“What was that?” you ask, since no one else did.

A guard bursts into the room, completely out of breath, he wheezes as he tries to talk but none of you can really understand him.

“Deep breath man!” you yell.   

He inhales but is suddenly dragged backwards by a black slimy tentacle, he attempts to claw onto the main arch of the wall but is unable to maintain grip and is pulled away into the darkness of the hall. You, PM, and the other guards in the room ready your positions to attack the threat looming in the hall.

You are met with tense silence.

Out of the corner of your eye you see something dark move on the balcony, “Shit!” you shout as you turn, much too late. You are whipped into the stone wall by a thick tentacle and you feel your whole body crack and break.

“NATE!” someone shrieks, although, you can’t tell who.

You are more or less slumped on the ground unable to move, your glasses flew off somewhere, probably broken to bits, so you can’t see anything. The blood pouring down your face doesn’t help either but you try to squint at the chaos unfolding around you.

There’s a tentacle wrapped around a female prospitian, you can’t make out who she is, but your heart tightens at the blurred sight. You think you hear screaming over the ringing in your ears and you want it to stop, you want everything to just stop.

The tentacle tightens around the prospitian and crushes her body, you see red dripping down against the black and your vision darkens.

You lose consciousness.

_“Happy Birthday dear.”_

 

**~**

 

She is surrounded by beautiful perfect white roses, although, only her head and feet are visible while the rest of her body is covered by a large golden cloth. She lays in a casket, eyes closed,  as if she were sleeping, though, you have never seen her asleep before.

You float above her, following, as her casket is carried by marching carapaces, they crowd the streets with sorrow on their faces, you, however, carry a blank expression. You cannot feel sad because none of this feels real to you, in fact, you would like to say this is just a dream or a plain nightmare.

But you know this is just you trying to run away. Maybe your feelings will catch up with you later, but for now you are nothing.

The crowd shifts and you know that you’re almost there but you don’t want to be there when they put her under, you just don’t.

So you take the rose you were carrying and place it over her heart, it’s pink and not white because AN told you a pink rose means ‘thank you’ and you only wish you told her that when she was alive. She was like the mother you never had, she was supportive and trusting in you even when you didn’t deserve it, and she really cared about you.

The feelings are starting to rise and you force them back down, you will not cry, not anymore, you need to be strong.

You lean down and kiss her forehead, she is cold beneath your lips, you don’t like it, she was always warm.

“Thanks...Mom.”

You fly away, no one tries to stop you.

 

**~**

 

“You need to rest, you still haven’t recovered from the attack and we need you to be at full health.”

“I can’t even sleep so I might as well be doing something useful.”

She ignores you, “Once you’re well again, we’ll have to hold the crowning ceremony for you, the plans for it are already in motion.”

You groan, you do not want to deal with this. “PM, I told I’m not ready to be king, I probably never will be,” you turn to the mayor, “Why was I chosen for this?”

He shrugs, you make a disgusted face, clearly not thrilled by his answer.

“Nate, I told you before, the queen decreed you be king in her will. You have to honor that.”

“B-but what if I mess up? What if I’m a terrible king?!” you exclaim.

“We won’t let you mess up, Nate, we’re here to support you so if you ever need help, we’re here for you,” she gestures to herself and the mayor with a smile.

“Then...rule with me.”

“What?!” they look at you like you’ve grown another head.

“We should rule together like, you know, the mayor says, uh, a democracy!” you bite your lip.

“Nate, a democracy would include having the citizens elect you as leader, that wouldn’t work.”

“I thought it was having multiple leaders to vote on a decision.”

“No, that’s something else.” The mayor facepalms himself, then smacks your arm.

“Ow, dude, you don’t have to hit me,” you rub your arm, even though it didn’t hurt much. The mayor looks pleased with himself.   

“Would you stop whining and take this seriously?”

“I am serious,” your voice rises, you calm yourself before continuing, “I just...it’s hard okay? I was kinda expecting this would come one day but...not like _this_.”

Their expressions soften. “Yeah, I know what you mean but we’ll all get through this, together. We’ll make her proud,” PM smiles, you give one in return even if it’s forced.

 

**~**

 

“Your Highness, there’s been a group of three norms and one mutant spotted in the eastern district,” the guard reports to you.

“Just one?” you ask.

“Yes, sir.”

“I’ll go for this one,” you rise from the throne and stretch, the guard breaks into an expression of shock, and PM moves to object.

“Nate-,” she starts but you interject.

“PM, if I don’t leave this room, I swear I’ll go stir crazy. Besides, I’ll get rusty if all I do is sit here,” and you’re out the window before she can stop you.

 

**~**

 

“Hap-”

“Stop right there because there’s really **nothing** happy about my birthday, PM.”

She sighs. “You used to get so happy about it, in fact, wasn’t it you who introduced us to the meaning of ‘birthday’?”

You grumble in response.

“So nineteen now, right?”

“Yeah.”

“...you’re doing well, you know?”

You don’t answer.

“I wasn’t sure at first if you could do it, I always thought you were just an annoying kid who couldn’t take anything seriously but...I guess you grew up.”

You roll your eyes. “Thanks.”

 

**~**

 

“Mayor, have you decided on the strategy we’ll be using?” you ask.

He gives you a thumbs up and relays it to you and PM through the map.

You share an understanding nod and head out to your position while PM relays the instructions to the soldiers. This normally happens when there are more than one or two groups containing mutants so you are fairly used to this procedure.

PM has long past quit trying to stop you from going out and fighting yourself, she knows your worth and that you are irreplaceable but she also knows how strong you are and that you want to help. This time is no different.

You’ve developed a system, with the help of everyone, to be prepared for attacks no matter the numbers. This system has kept the Kingdom from collapsing, so you consider this a win, yet you aren’t advancing either, so you also find the situation a neutral too.

You just wonder how long this will last.

 

**~**

 

You turned twenty today and you were expecting either more tragedy to strike your cursed soul or a regular old day of being king stress. Fortunately for you, it just so happened to be the latter, which also sucks because being king for two years is life draining and you wish you would stop feeling like a responsible adult figure, you don’t want to be one.

Not that you have a choice in the matter, somehow, you never did.

It’s not like you regret becoming king, it has it’s perks, but it’s just so much work! Literally, you are currently doing paperwork, that you’d rather not do, even though it’s incredibly late. The only reason you can tell it’s late is because no one is on the streets when it’s late, did you mention it’s late? Cause it’s late!

You need sleep but the papers aren’t done and blah blah blah.

A flash of green light in the sky snaps you out of your thoughts and you see the vague outline of a figure. You should probably tell someone first but, instead, grab your hammer and fly out your window towards the figure.

As you get closer the more humanoid the figure looks, perhaps a carapace?

_But carapaces don’t fly._

Then what-?

You get close enough and freeze when the figure turns to face you.

_It’s a human._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhhh snap ahahahah  
> hope i wrote the action bits good, i'm still a lil meh but i think most of this chapter came out well also i hope the time skips don't seem too forced or rushed, sorry if they do ⊙︿⊙;
> 
> i'll be reformatting some of the past chapters a bit, not a huge change, however, i would like your opinion if i should just keep the whole story in 2nd person pov, i wouldn't go and change the way it's written in past chapters with vito and his 1st person pov, i'm just wondering if you think it would be better ๏_๏;;
> 
> also heads up for next chapter we see vito and dave again (finally) (⊙‿⊙✿)


	10. Meeting New Old Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jesus there's so much dialogue in this  
> enjoy 5300+ word count (*´∀`*)

When you woke up you saw black like a starless night, practically nothing, you couldn’t even tell if you were awake at first or if your eyes were open. The only reason you knew you were awake is because you reached your hand out at the dark and saw your hand which, embarrassingly, startled you.

Your hand dropped and looked down and you saw...Prospit?

No, Derse.

Both?

The planet was the same shape and size just different colors like someone decided to make a marble cake out of it.

But...why were you here?

You think you hear something behind you and turn around.

There is a boy several inches shorter than you with skin so white it’s like he hasn’t seen direct sunlight in years, his hair is black and messy, and his eyes are...so _blue_. They’re blue and it’s like looking in the mirror after not seeing yourself for so many years and not believing that it’s **you**.

His eyes widen with shock and his mouth hangs open but you are not doing that, you don’t feel your mouth open, it’s closed, you can tell. He seems to recover from his shock while your mind is still trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.

He sticks his hand out and stutters, “H-hi! Oh my gosh, I haven’t seen another h-human in so long, it’s nice to me-meet you!”  

You can’t believe this.

 

**\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------J̸͐̍̉ͫ̀͏̥̟̮̳͔ͅo̩͇͖̭̝̰̿̒̏͐͒ͨ̅ͦ́͝h̢͓͉͎̹̳̜̍̅͒̍́̾̃̈́̿̕n̐͒̈́̍́̑͝҉̦͇ Nate**

 

He makes you nervous just standing there staring at you while your outstretched hand continues not to be shaken. You were taught that when you introduce yourself to someone you should always go for a handshake and even though you thought that was pretty stupid, you thought it would leave a good impression for this human.

So he either thinks you’re stupid or he’s just plain rude!

“Joh...n?”

Your hand drops and you flinch away from him.

“H-how do you know that name?!”

When he doesn’t answer, you raise your hammer up threateningly.

“Answer me!” you yell.

“I-...I,” he tries and lowers his gaze down below you.

You look down and a couple of carapaces are staring up at you and the human, you’re not sure if you want the kingdom to know about him just yet. You lower your hammer and stare at him expectantly.

“Look, I don’t know how you know that name but we need to get out of the air right now before anyone else sees you.”

He seems to snap out of it then and nods.

“Come on,” you gesture for him to follow and head for your room again, he follows after a second.

 

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Vito**

  


How the hell are you supposed to even be able explain?

_‘Oh hey, yeah, you’re actually me or I’m you or something, hope we get along.’_

Yeah fucking right because that would work out beautifully for you, you won’t look crazy at all.

“Humaaan guy who won’t answeeeer me,” John says annoyed.

“I-sorry.” You don’t really know what to say in this situation, you’re still kinda freaking out inside.

He sighs. “Your name.”

“What?”

“God. What’s your _name_?”

Do you tell him who you really are?

“Ah, it’s...Vito.”

Nope. Guess not.

“Oh,” his face softens then contorts into an unreadable expression, “Are you...you know, from the real world?”

“What do you mean the real world?”

“Like, you fell asleep, didn’t you?”

You remember the feeling of needles stabbing your brain, yes, falling asleep, no, you don’t think falling sleeping is supposed to be that painful.

“No, not really,” you shrug and look away.

When he doesn’t say anything in return you glance back up and you think he’s stuck in thought from the way he’s biting his bottom lip, you tend to do that too.

He speaks suddenly, “Did it force you?” You must appear confused because he elaborates, ”The mind thing, it normally hurts you if you struggle against it from what I remember.”

“Was that what it was?”

“Probably. Just remember not to fight it next time if it happens again.”

“Okay then.”

Awkward silence.

“Do you know my dad?” he blurts, catching you off guard.

You haven’t thought about dad in a long time, wait, he is talking about the same dad, right?

“I mean that’s why you know that name, John, he told you didn’t he? Is he okay? Does he miss me? He’s not still mad is he?”

“Whoa, calm down, you mean you haven’t seen him?!” That’s not possible, John was with dad.

_That was years ago though._

He turns away ashamed.

“John-”

“My name’s not John,” he snaps then his face kinda scrunches up like he might cry, “not anymore.”

“Wait, so your name _isn’t_ John?!” But he looks like him, how can he not be?

He stares at you like you’re an idiot.

“That’s what I just said, can’t you hear?” Wow. Shut up.

“No, I can’t, I’m obviously deaf, can’t you tell?” you retort.

“No, I’m mute, I can’t tell you anything.”

“This is stupid and you’re missing the point.”

“I didn’t know there was a point.”

“John!”

“I’m not John!”

“That’s the point! So who are you if you’re not John?”

“How do you _not_ know? I thought you knew my dad.”

“I never said that I did.”

He glares at you and you don’t hesitate to glare right back at him. Wow the other you is really annoying, here you are trying to be serious about this whole thing and he just keeps, I don’t know, avoiding it! You don’t act like he does in these situations...do you?

You hope like hell not.

He breaks eye contact first. “Look, a lot has happened but I’ll clear this up for you. I. Am. Not. John. Egbert. I haven’t been for several years now and I probably never will be again. It’s Nate, Nathan Bergett...wow it’s been a long time since I’ve said that aloud.”

“Why?”

“Oh, I dunno, my last name was never important to the carapaces and Nathan sounds too formal, so it never mattered.”

“No, I meant...why is your name-”

“Changed?” he finishes.

“Yeah.”

“...Dad decided it one day, he didn’t tell me why and we’d just had a somewhat recent fight, we were barely on speaking terms, although, I guess that was more my fault than his,” he rubs his eye, “He just came home, called me into the living room, and dropped the ‘oh, by the way, we’re legally getting our names changed, hope you don’t mind’ bomb of a lifetime,” he scoffs.

“And he never told you why?”

“Not really, he just got up, left me some cryptic message, and disappeared again. I didn’t see him very often after that.”

“What did he say?”

“I dunno, it’s been years, uh, something about someone looking for us, he didn’t tell me anything else.”

“Any idea who?”

“Nope.”

Well that doesn’t help. Who would even...unless the villains were here too. Could they? Jack, The Condense, Lord English? You, Dad, and Dave had been reborn on this earth so it’s not completely impossible but you’d honestly rather not think about that.

“Hey, Vito?” he asks, hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“Could you- would you look for my dad? Please?”

You’re not sure that’s a good idea, you don’t even know where he is, heck, he could be on the other side of the world for all you know...or worse.

“I-I can’t.”

“ **Please** ,” he begs and you falter.

“I-maybe,” you mumble.

His expression brightens and he smiles at you, which is weird, seeing your (sorta) body smile and it’s not a mirror makes it weird. But you haven’t looked like him in years so it shouldn’t be.  

“Thank you, I’m in your debt,” he bows his head, which is a little strange, perhaps a custom?

You copy him. “No problem.”

After that you two talk for a while longer before your vision starts to blur and blacken, you mention it to John, er, Nate and he tells you it’s normal.

“You're about to wake up,” he tells you.

You do, it doesn’t hurt.

 

**\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dave**

 

Your phone’s loud buzzing wakes you from your slumber and you blindly grab for it, ripping it from it’s charger when you feel it. Someone’s calling you and you don’t even bother to check who it is before answering.

“Sup,” but it sounds more like ‘surp’ when you try to talk, it’s too early in the morning for this, probably.

“Morning, Dave. I see you’ve finally decided to stop being a fucknut and actually decided to answer your fucking phone for once because I didn’t call you yesterday for any reason at all, nope, I just felt like dialing your shitty number fuck knows how many times just for a good fucking laugh.”

“Jus’ glad one of us had a good time last night Karkles.”

“Ha-fucking-ha Strider, I’m wetting my hypothetical panties from the sheer laughter of this whole pathetic conversation right now, fuck, I might even die from all this laughter, hope you can pay for my fucking human funeral you douchenugget. But this is beside the point, so why the fuck didn’t you answer your crapass phone yesterday?”

“Cause my phone wasn’t workin’.”

“Strider, stop trying to feed me some piss poor excuse about your shitty phone when we all know your phone doesn’t just ‘ _not work_ ’ for no fucking reason, it was literally designed and made by your asshole genius of a brother making it generations ahead of crappy ‘ _modern_ ’ technology.”

“Who said I didn’t have a reason?”

“So there’s an actual fucking reason for your bullshit?”

“Nah, I was just born this way, don’t hate bro, embrace it.”

“How about I take your bullshit and shove it right back up your ass where it came from.”

You yawn as you sit up in bed and put on your shades. “Why’s everyone gotta be so violent to me? Never did anything to anyone cept allow them to bask in my glorious presence.”

“Yes, because they simply bow down at your feet every time you happen to pass by the poor slobs they soak in your arrogant radiance, maybe that’s why the majority of the human race are absolute douchebags. Good going Dave.”

“Anytime.” Man, you’re hungry, time for breakfast. You head out your bedroom and to the kitchen while Karkat keeps talking.

“So what’s the real reason you didn’t answer? And I don’t even mean just me, Rezi told me you weren’t picking up for anybody, so don’t even fucking try.”

You get into the kitchen and the microwave clock reads eleven thirty four, still breakfast time you decide.

“I told you, it wasn’t working, started glitching or something and then shut off on it’s own.”

“What about your laptop?”

“I was barely home at all yesterday, had a date.” You open the fridge with your free hand, all that’s left of aj and half a jar of mayo, fuck.

“How the fuck did that go?”

“About as good as any social interaction with the populace.”

“So it was crap.”

You shrug but remember he can’t see it. “Eh, pretty much.” You crack open the aj and take a long swig of it, reviving your parched mouth.

“What happened?”  

“Lalonde’ll tell you later.” What the hell are you supposed to eat now?

“Wait, which one? And when the hell did you have time to tell her this but not me?”

“I don’t know, ask both of em. Anyway, I gotta go, heading out to eat, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Fucking hold o-,” you end the call.

Now then, where to eat?

You recall last night’s events and decide the diner wouldn’t be so bad again.

Maybe you’ll see Vito too.  

 

**\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Vito**

 

Why did you take up this shift?

You could be laying in bed, sorting your thoughts about last night, but no, Kurt rang and said the new guy called out and needed someone to fill in for him. Of course you couldn’t say no to him, he needed help and you were always willing to take up work when it was available. This is your own fault you guess.

“Vi,” your coworker calls.

You turn to her. “Yeah Sage?”

“You can have the next table when they come in,” she smiles at you.

“Oh, thanks,” you smile back and she goes back to her business.

It’s been pretty slow today but now that it’s almost lunch it should pick up soon, hopefully, you’re pretty bored. You hear the bell ding, there’s your customer.

Oh.

“Hey Dave!” your mood is instantly better, sorta.

“Sup dude,” he holds his fist out to you for a fistbump you think.

You connect your fist with his and smile, he smirks back.   

“So whatcha here for? Didn’t get lost again, did you?” you tease.

“Dunno what you’re talking about Vito. Me? Get lost? Chances of that happening are about on par with the earth burning to a crisp and everyone going to hell.”

He basically just admitted he got lost last night, but you’re not supposed to know that.

“Here to eat or what?”

“That depends.”

You furrow your brows confused. “On what?”

“Are you the one cookin’?” he waggles his eyebrows.

_Oh my god._

You crack up laughing, you can’t help it, Dave is just so ridiculous to you.

“Well shit I’m just makin’ everyone have the hahas today, aren’t I? Maybe I should stop studying to be paleontologist and become a full time comedian instead. Then everyone will finally start thinking my life is the joke it truly is and then one day I’m just gonna go on stage and be like ‘yeah, you all figured out the joke, that’s it everybody, see you fuckin next time you shits’ and then take all the money I made and spend it all in a casino, just one, that’s all I’m limiting myself to. Maybe I’ll get wasted in the bar to treat myself if I actually win anything and wake up half naked next to a hobo the next morning.”

“Dave you are so fucking ridiculous, I don’t even-,” you start laughing again.

“See what I mean, man? I could make shit loads of moolah doing this.”

“You would be a terrible comedian Dave,” you say between wheezes of laughter, ”the seats would be devastatingly empty and anyone who was there would be throwing fruit loops at you.”

“Whoa bro no need to take it out on the fruit loops, shit’s not cool, they never did crap, cept be colorful as the fuckin rainbow but who the fuck doesn’t love rainbows? No one, that’s who, hatin on rainbows has been illegal since brobama stepped out the house.”

“Stop, please, I get it just- stop, I need to breathe.” You are so lame, this isn’t even the first time.

He’s silent for the moment and you (somewhat ironically) catch your breath, when you recover you realize you’re still at work, you slowly check behind you but don’t see Kurt or Sage. Which is...suspicious.

You cough briefly and turn back to Dave.

“You okay?” he asks, eyebrow raised in amusement you suspect.

“Uh, yeah. Anyway, you hungry? I mean, that’s what you came here for, right?”

“Yep, ain’t got shit in my fridge to eat so I thought it wouldn’t kill me to drag my ass down here for a bite.”

You roll your eyes. “Well, don’t force yourself next time,” you say sarcastically, “Go ahead and take a seat wherever, want something to drink?”

“Cool. Sure, got apple juice?” You just knew he would say that.

“Yeah, I’ll grab you a cup or two of it,” you head off behind the counter as Dave goes to take a seat which happens to be the same booth as yesterday.

You almost trip on something when you enter but catch yourself at the last second. “What the fuck?” You look down. “Oh my god, why?”

Kurt and Sage are crouched on the floor, red faced, trying to hold back laughter.

“Really guys? What are you two? Children?” you huff and put your hands on your hips.

Sage giggles. “It’s just I’ve never seen you act like that before,” she tries to whispers but she’s still pretty loud.

“Like what?” You don’t know what she means.

They each grab you by the arm and pull you down so you’re crouched on the ground with them too.

“Kiddo,” you roll your eyes, ”in all the years I’ve seen people hit on you, you have not once responded to any of them like you do this kid,” Kurt also whispers.

You process what he just said. “Woah! Wait, Dave is not hi-!” two hands smack over your mouth before you finish.

“ _SHHHHHHH_ ,” they both said, simultaneously. You glare at them and roughly remove their hands away from your mouth.

“Anyway, I think you two would look cute together, just saying. I mean I’ve only seen you two together once but it was enough to convince me,” Sage hums.

“Why do you-” “ _Shhh_.” You lower your voice, ”Why do you guys have to insist something like that?”

“Because I’ve been working with you for like two years or something and Kurt’s your family so we know when somethings up.”

“Why does that instantly mean it’s romantic? Can’t it just mean I want to be friends?” you pout.

Sage gives you an apologetic look. “I didn’t mean it like that Vi. You’re right, I probably just read more into the situation than what was really there, sorry.”

You give her a small smile. “It’s cool.”

Kurt grunts, clearly unsatisfied. “I don’t care, I’m gonna- what’d you call it Sage? Ship?” “Yeah!” “Well I still ship em then,” he rules, Sage squeals happily.

“...what does a ship have to do with...ohhhhhh no, no, no, Kurt no, don’t do that, no, you’re too old to be doing that, that’s not right, please, don’t,” you place the palms of your hands on your face, you cannot believe this man.

“Maybe I’ll secretly ship them too,” Sage mumbles.

Nope. NOPE.

You abruptly jump to your feet, startling both of them. “Oh my god, I hate both of you!” you yell at the same time the door’s bell chimes. A man wearing a suit stands awkwardly in the doorway.

“Um. Should I just come back later?” he asks with a thumb pointing outside.

Dave cracks up laughing in the corner booth, you facepalm. Sage jumps up next to you and grins ecstatically at the man.

“Aaron, you made it!” she shouts.

“Oh, there you are. What were you doing behind the counter?” the man, Aaron, sort of leers over at you.

“Discussing battle plans with the boss,” she giggles.

You feel something grabbing at your pant leg and you glance down.

“Help me up,” Kurt tells you and holds his hand up to you.

You grasp at it and pull him up, Sage helps halfway before he’s finally upright. He stretches and groans, “Ugh, I’m getting too old for this.”

You sigh and Sage chuckles at him.

Kurt addresses Aaron who’s still hanging by the door, ”Sorry bout that, go on and have a seat, you can sit at the counter, makes it easier,” he gives a pointed look over at Dave, ”you too kid, no need to hide in the corner, sit up here, you’ll get your food faster.”

You and Dave make eye contact, you think, for a second before you shrug at him, he sighs and gets up from his booth. Aaron takes a seat in one of the black swivel chairs at the counter and Dave stiffly seats himself in one a couple chairs over.

“So what can I get for you?” Kurt asks the man and you remember Dave’s order.

You head to the kitchen while they talk and pull out the apple juice from the fridge, you grab a cup and decide you’ll just bring out the whole bottle in case he wants refills. When you head back out, Sage is talking.

“-he’s my older brother. He’s normally too busy with work to see me but he made a promise that he would visit me today.”

“I’m just surprised I haven’t met him before this,” Kurt mentions.

You head over to Dave while the others talk, his face brightens a bit when he sees what you have.

“Sorry that took so long,” you say and pour him a glass.

He takes it when you offer him the cup and downs it all in one gulp, you are mildly impressed.

“Thanks.”

“Thirsty much?”

He shrugs. “Nah, it’s just good stuff, can’t help it.”

“Maybe you should see a therapist for it,” you joke.

He grimaces. “No way, I’ve already got a sister that does enough brain picking, thank you very much. I don’t need anyone else in my head just to find out why I drink apple juice, that’s just stupid.”

He’s talking about Rose you think, god, you miss her and Jade and everyone, you miss your friends.

“Ah, okay then,” you fight to keep your expression blank, “So you want to order now?”

“AND THEN HE SAID I WAS IN THE WAY AND TOLD ME TO GET OUT! THEN I SAID FUCK YOU, YOU’RE NOT MY BOSS, DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!”

The yelling startles you and you look over. Sage’s brother is ranting apparently.

“But you left anyway though, didn’t you?” Sage asks, “That’s why you’re here, you got kicked out.”

He scowls. “No, I wasn’t kicked out, I just decided to leave myself.”

You roll your eyes and turn your attention back to Dave.

“Dude, just get me whatever at this point,” he sighs.

You give him an apologetic smile. “Sure thing,” and you head for the kitchen.

“Why are you even still friends with Dr. Bergett anyway?”

You almost trip over your own feet but catch yourself once again instead of falling flat on your face, unfortunately, everyone’s now staring at you. You chose not to say anything and pass through the kitchen doors in a silent hurry. Your heart hammers in your chest as you try to make your brain connect.

...He said Bergett. John said his last name was Bergett now. Is dad Dr. Bergett?

_Does it really matter though?_

You can’t just directly ask Sage’s brother about his friend for no reason, you’d look like a creep or something. And even if you did, it’s not like you could go see him, he wouldn’t know who you are. You’re not his son, you’re not John, you’re just a stranger and that’s all you’ll ever be.

Just forget about it, you have a job to do.

 

**~**

 

You made him two sandwiches, although, you can’t remember when or how you made them, you just suddenly blinked and you had a nice plate of sandwiches. Strangely enough you know what’s in them: fried egg, bacon, thin slices of ham, tomato, lettuce, cheese, and some zesty mayo between toasted sourdough bread, at least you think it’s sourdough. Dave probably won’t care, or notice, probably.  

You bring out the plate and notice there are several new customers seated in the diner with Sage attending to them and Aaron is no longer here. Dave still sits at the counter playing on his phone but perks up when he sees you with his food.

“Oh shit, hell yeah. Come to papa,” he says, rubbing his hands together.

You laugh and set the plate down in front of him. He grabs one and takes a bite, as he chews you refill his empty glass and he hums in approval.

He swallows. “Good as always Vito.”

“You’ve only had my cooking twice though.”

Kurt passes by and pats your back. “Come on kid, lunch rush is coming in soon. Take these orders up in the kitchen if you’re not serving at the moment,” he hands you the orders and rushes off to greet a new customer.

“Enjoy your food,” you tell Dave, “we’ll talk later if you’re still here, if you want to,” you grin and head back to the kitchen.

 

**\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dave**

 

You don’t know why you decided to spend about almost two hours and a half in a diner doing nothing but making small talk and drinking apple juice. If someone asked you why, you would have to tell them you don’t know, you just felt like it.

Something compelled you to stay, so you did.

“Wow, can’t believe you’re still here. I thought you would’ve left after dessert.”  

You look up from your cup, Vito stands on the other side of the counter. “Nah.”

“Hmm,” he pours a glass of water and slides it toward you, you raise an eyebrow at him. He shrugs. “You should try to drink water after eating something sweet.”

“Why?” It doesn’t really matter.

He looks sheepish, “I don’t know, it’s good for you.”

Huh. “Why do you care though?”

“Uh...should I not be?” his face turns to worry.

You don’t answer and take a sip of the water, he gives you his charming smile in return.

“Hey, my shift ends soon actually so...you wanna hang out afterwards?” he asks hesitantly.

“Sure, sounds cool with me,” you smirk.

“Awesome! Lemme just finish up- oh yeah, you want your check?”

You nod and he leaves for it.

 

**~**

 

You’re glad you remembered to grab that twenty from your savings jar and stuff it in your pocket or else you would’ve look like an idiot who spent two hours in a diner he couldn’t pay for. But there is no _or else_ crap because you’ve got the money and that _didn’t_ sound like you were about to engage in a drug deal.  

Vito appears next to you. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah. Everything done?” you get up from your chair.

“Yup! Here’s your change by the way,” he tries to hand you your money, you push it back.

“Keep it.”

“Again?” he asks, eyebrow arched.

“What, don’t want it? That’s a first.”  

“Uh. Okay,” he says unsure and pockets the cash. “Kay, let’s go.”

You both leave without being stopped this time.

 

**\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Vito**

 

You picked a public park a couple blocks away from the diner. Dave didn’t question you when you said that’s where you wanted to go and simply chose to follow you. The two of you chatted along the way again, though, this time he did more of the asking while you answered, you didn’t mind.

There’s people at the park when you get there, it’s not surprising, there’s always at least someone there, but you notice it’s more empty than usual this time of day. You make a comment on this and Dave shrugs.

“Were you hoping there’d be more people? My company not enough for you?”

You slug him in the arm. “No, that’s not it, I just noticed there isn’t a lot of people, that’s all.”      

He rubs his arm. “Jesus, what the hell do you do in your free time? Work out?”

“I didn’t even hit you that hard.”

“Uh, yeah, you really did.”

“Maybe you’re just being a baby.” You head off towards the concrete tables and benches.

He follows. “Maybe you’re just being an insensitive asshole who like stepping on my emotions,” he deadpans.  

You would’ve responded to him if you hadn’t sat down at one of stone tables, the bench is somewhat cool beneath you and it feels great to finally sit after standing for so long at work. You rest your head on the table and even though it’s hard and uncomfortable, you breathe out a sigh of content. Dave sits across from you and you give him a tired smile.

“Sorry, m’ just a little tired.”

“Nah, I get it.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Do you work?”

“No bu-”

“Then you don’t get it.” You lay your head in your arms. Much better.

“Well fuck you too. What if it’s not my fault I don’t work? I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the employment ratings in this country kinda fuckin suck. Maybe I can’t get a job, shit, what if I really do wake up next to a hobo half naked, except, instead, I’m the hobo.”

“Dave,” you lazily put your hand on his arm, “you are one of a kind. You’re like a...snowflake or something.”

“How flattering. Am I gonna melt like one too?”

You laugh. “Maybe.” You’re thoughtful for a moment before you look up at him expectantly, “Are we friends?”

He looks mildly surprised. ”We only met yesterday so I don’t know, are we?”

You feel a little embarrassed, “I want us to be,” you mutter.

“Got your phone on you?”

You blink a couple times at him. “Oh! Yeah,” you pull it out your pocket and he takes it from you. You lean over to see what he’s doing. “What are you doing?”

“Adding my number in.”

“Oh. Cool.” He hands you back your phone when he finishes, you peek in your contacts and sure enough Dave Strider in now listed there. You try to suppress the smile that’s begging to break out on your face, you fail horrendously to the point that your cheeks start to ache a bit.

“Calm down there, it’s just my number.” But you see he’s smiling too, it’s not as big as yours but you see teeth and he’s legitly smiling at you and that’s all that matters.

It’s nice.

 

**\------------------------------------------------------------------------J̙̪̪͇͉͎̱͎͓͒͡a̢͙̮̝̎ͤ̊ͤ̽̐̈͡m̸͙̫̗̰͍͙͉̳͍̐̾͛̊ͫ̇̀̚͜e͔̲̝͉̱̯ͪ͂̍͗s͍̤̹̺ͣ̅ͥ̇͗ͦͤ Jay**

 

You are tired of working, you always are, but you don’t have a choice. You must work. You just want him to wake up one day, even if it’s for just a moment, you want to apologize and tell him you love him. You miss him, he’s all you have. He’s all you’ll ever have.

“Hey, I’m back!”

“Aaron, please keep it down, I’m trying to work.”

“Sheesh. When aren’t you working?” he sets down his jacket on his desk.

You chose not to answer.

“You remember my little sister, Sage? Yeah, well I stopped by her work today, you know, the diner on the corner of Eaglestand? Anyway, the people there are really friendly, a little eccentric, but nice and the food was great too. You should come with me next time, although, you should trim that beard a bit first so no one mistakes you for a caveman and calls the police,” he chuckles.

“I’ve got work, there’s no time for that.”

“Come on, it’s only like two hours out of your ‘work’, it won’t kill you.”

“I’m almost at a breakthrough.”

He slams a fist on your desk, you look up and his face is contorted in fury.

“You know what, you’re so full of shit! I can’t even count how many times you’ve said that the past couple years and it never has results! I know you’re trying hard for your son but you **need** to **live** for **yourself** too! YOU JUST CAN’T KEEP WALLOWING IN YOUR GUILT!”

“GET OUT!” you scream, he flinches, “JUST GET OUT! I don’t know why you continue to stand by me if all you do is criticize my work so just Leave. Me. Alone.”

Hurt is clear on his face but you don’t care, you just don’t care right now. He snatches his jacket off his table and storms out, making sure to slam the door.

When he’s gone, you rub at your tired eyes and sigh deeply. You shouldn’t have done that, he’s just trying to help, but you always end up snapping at him. Truthfully, you’re grateful for his company, when you’re not arguing, his presence is somewhat pleasant. These past years have been difficult, you’ve pretty much secluded yourself from the human race and drowned yourself in work.

You don’t want to be like this, you want to relax, perhaps get your full eight hours of sleep without waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, only to busy yourself with more work because you can’t get back to sleep.  Maybe you should listen to Aaron, live a little, as he would say.

You could...try.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was kinda cute til dad showed up (´；◡；`) hope you liked it though  
> there'll be a time skip next chapter and it should be fairly fluffy for most of this chapter
> 
> i'd like to say i'll try to get the chapter done quicker than this but i honestly don't know, school kinda gets in the way of that but i'll try my best ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

**Author's Note:**

> any comments or questions you can contact me on my tumblr which is the same as my username: benebidfarewell


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